Jess's Life Story

since I was 4 I've had this friend, she used to hurt me in middle school physically and mentally. My mum had to come and pick me up at least once a week because of her. As we got older I thought it was getting better, she stopped hurting me physically. But she'd still hurt me mentally by falling out with me for stupid reasons and making me feel so worthless. I know people will just say 'why didn't you not be friends with her anymore?' But it wasn't that easy. Whenever we fell out shed turn all my friends against me and get them on her side, shed get them to come up to me and say horrible things to me. When we went to high school we made a different friend group and I love them all to pieces. It seemed like it was getting better but it was getting worse. She'd argue with me about stupid things like If she wanted to wear the sweater I was wearing, of if my mom wouldn't let me go to hers after school shed blame it on me. One time I didn't do something she wanted me to do so she got my head and slammed it against the wall them dragged me to the floor by my hair and went right up in my face and said 'do what I say' basically if she didnt get her way it was always my fault and shed cause an argument over it. I never really fought back when she hurt me because I thought it would make it worse, but one time I did and it felt good to hit her back. Once she made me bleed from my face. Another time I wouldn't get up and get her something so she grabbed my head and scratched all my face. Everyone was asking me what was on my face and I just say my cat did it. I'm too scared to just leave her because I don't want her to turn everyone against me like in middle school and I don't want to loose my other friends. It's getting worse lately she seems to always find a way to argue with me. if i went to someone elses house or went out with someone else, she would say i have ditched her and have a go at me for it. i hate not being able to do what i want without falling out with her. In school I was with my friend Sam instead of her just for one break and I went up to her in lesson and she told me to **** off and called me an ignorant little *****. I said I felt I'll and wanted to go he and she called me an attention seeking rat. Sometimes I'm too scared to go to school because I will see her and I'm scared shell have another reason to have a go at me. None of my friends know about this, she acts innocent around them. I have never told anyone. But now I am in depression because of her and am going to the doctor soon to talk to them and get anti-depression tablets. I am also going to a counsellor. Although, I have never told the doctor why I am depressed, I just say I don't know why but I feel worthless and like I want to die. None of my friends know about this, especially her because she will call me attention seeking even thought I am not. Sometimes I just feel like I want to die and I'd be better off dead. I actually nearly took an overdose a couple days ago but thought about my mom and how heartbroken she would be, I wouldn't do it because of my family. So I'm just going to have to continue living my life feeling depressed and worthless everyday.
jess1245 jess1245
18-21
3 Responses Dec 5, 2012

If you are being bullied..you NEED to tell the school. You need to tell them everything you've written here. If you don't have the courage to say it, just print what you wrote out and give it to them.
There are so many students who are in similar situations as you and if you don't speak up it could get worse. On the news there are always students who commit suicide or are beaten to death by bullies. You need to act, you need to tell your counselor and doctor the truth about your depression.

Getting anti-depressants and therapy without solving the actual problem does nothing. I've tried anti-depressants and I will tell you..it is not a miracle pill.

For example, If you tell a doctor that your head hurts but when he asks why you say you don't know, he might just prescribe you tylenol, but it doesn't change the fact that your father comes home every night drunk and slams your head against the wall which is why your head hurts. In which case you need to tell the authority and get help to stop it.

I've also been bullied and my biggest regret is not seeking the help and standing up for myself. I've missed 3 months of my high school and barely graduated because of bullying. I went back and forth between a hospital and school for my depression. If I only told the school what was happening instead of thinking it was all my fault in some way and struggling by myself I wouldn't have this regret.

Be truthful, stand up for yourself, and go get help to STOP the bullying and be a role model for others who are being bullied.

Here's a link that may be helpful.
http://www.stopbullying.gov/get-help-now/index.html

With friends like that.....yea, you need better friends that actually care about you, no one that truly cares about you will treat you that way. as for her, well i wouldnt be surprised to find out that she is living in an abusive home, either emotionally or physically or both and is taking her anger and frustration out the only way she knows, the same way it is taken out on her.

i have no idea why she does it, i know her mom and dad and they are such nice people who would never hurt her? thanks for the reply x

You never know, to all that see them they may seem like the perfect family, what goes on when no one else is around may be a different story. Take my relationship, behind closed doors she is so nasty to me, to the point of if i politely ask her to hand me something she goes off and snaps at me.

Hang in there and start reaching out to new people around you, make new friends and explain to her that you do not need her brand of drama in your life anymore, if she cant get with the program then she can find a new person to bully around.

I'm here to talk and I'm sorry you have to go through this. No one deserves to be treated that way. I wonder what's inside her that makes her act so mean? It's definitely not your fault. Try not to be sad because she must have some deep issues and deal with it that way. Please don't deal with her issues by hurting you too. I hope she can be honest with you at some point and tell you why she feels the need to be violent toward you.

..same thing I said.. but no one responds to me. :(

I will respond and say hello, how are you today?