Depression Hurts

I am a 5th year in college and have just had my first relationship from August. The only hard thing is that I am a female and I am bi. The only person I have been in a relationship feels like my other half and feels like the one for me. She wanted a break to figure herself out, like who she is (not that if she is gay or not). This whole relationship has been pretty complicated because we have known each other for 4 years before and it has been constant flirting back and forth, we cuddled a lot and did things that normally a couple would do. The one big hard thing about this is that her parents want her to be straight and she has come out to them. My parents on the other hand have no idea about me, but if they ever found out, it would be constant religious therapy, never getting to see any of my friends. I really want to tell them and spend the rest of my life with this person. I feel really stupid for saying this, but I feel like it's the worst thing ever. I have no motivation to move on, can't do any of the things I used to because it reminds me of her, can't even be on my school campus anymore. I feel like she is the only person that I feel safe with, able to share everything with, can trust her with anything and everything. I know it's my first relationship and all, but I feel like she is different and that I don't need to look anymore. But since she wanted to split up to figure herself out, she doesn't want to talk, text, or see each other for a while. It's been so hard at me because I live up at school and it has been a constant struggle because I have lived with her the past 4 years and it just reminds me of her. After going from always texting or talking even when we are on a break at work to nothing at all it is just killing me. I feel super achy all the time and feel like I can never be happy.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 11, 2013