I was born nearly seventeen years ago. My father did not want me. He beat and raped me for the first 14 years of my life. It stopped when I met my current boyfriend a week before I was out into a group home. It has been two years since I have cut. I felt good about myself for awhile. Things were going great until July 2012. I suppose I should start at the beginning, back in February of 2012 when I found out that I was pregnant. I was scared because I was only fifteen. But as the first few weeks went by I got used to the fact that I was going to be a mom. As time went on I started to get excited to meet my baby, then we found out that baby had a development problem, I was scared but the doctors said that if baby survived it would be three months after birth that baby would be able to come home, soon after learning this information we found out that baby was a girl, we named her Zoey, that last month zoomed by. I went into labor three months early and Zoey did not make it. I have been depressed and ready to kill myself for the last five and a half months. The only thing keeping me here is my boyfriends promise that we will get pregnant again soon. We have been trying but with every negative pregnancy test we come up with I go deeper into depression.