Happy.

I know that my grades from the get-go this year weren't my best (meaning I'm doing horrible) but it didn't matter, since I was happy. You see, I'd discovered this... social website where I made friends. Friends that actually cared about me, friends that tried to make me feel better when I was down. And I was happy. I was so, so happy because I've never had anyone like that, much less a group of people to support me. I could never tell anyone my problems (not like there was anyone to tell) but to these people, it was just... normal for me. It was amazing. It was fun and I finally felt Happy.

But my grades were slipping, and my Mom noticed. Something had to be done. She'd threatened multiple times already to send me to China (I'm Chinese, and can speak it fluently. However, I'm clueless about writing it) with my relatives and go to school there. I wrote it off as Mom just being a Mom, but she was serious.

I found out today was the last straw.

I'm currently taking my midterms, and she found out about my studying (or lack thereof) and that was just the last straw. She snapped and screamed at me, hitting me a few times as well. And she took my laptop away, which meant no connection to the people that made me happy. I know this doesn't seem like much but my phone is an old nokia flipphone, and I have no ipod. I can't connect to my friends in any way. It's... heartbreaking. She told me that unless I got my act together, I really would need to be sent to China. But who even cares? Not like I have anyone in America. At least, not anymore.
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 23, 2013

Your mom should never, ever be hitting you. You need to think about how safe (mentally as well as physically) you are in your current situation and what your other options are.
I know it can be hard to balance social stuff and studying, especially if your happiness is reliant on a specific part of your life. (I really do- when I'm feeling down, it's a constant struggle between my anxiety about university work and my need to retreat and do other things to keep myself happy). Still, in your situation finding that balance seems very important.
If you can, try having a calm conversation with your mom about why going to China wouldn't improve your grades (discuss your poor knowledge of the written language, ect).
Message me if you need a kind ear.