Just Moved And Have No Friends

I just moved to a new city, and I don't have any friends yet. Where I moved from, I was accustomed to having 2 or 3 friends who honestly cared about me and I could be open, honest and myself with...and I counted myself blessed.

So I feel like I'm slowly sliding down the slope of depression, and it doesn't seem like there's a whole lot I can do about it, except go along for the ride and hope things get better.
derek1971 derek1971
36 Responses Nov 19, 2010

I am almost the same way I need help I am 15 and I moved from a mediumish size town in Wyoming to a small town in Ohio, I thought i liked Wyoming, I was a ¨nerd¨ in Wyoming but still athletic. When I moved to Ohio I made lots of friends that really cared about me and I fell into being the most popular kid in my class I had a really nice and pretty girlfriend and I was constantly happy. Then my Dad made us move back to Wyoming, I am now in 9th grade and im a loser who only hangs out with the ¨nerds¨ and im made fun of because I wear popular cloths but im a ¨nerd¨ I do not have many friends and leaving a place wear you had it all and going to a place wear your nothing is making me very depressed to the point of failing classes and constently being distracted. Please help

I'm a 19 year old guy just moved here to San Diego. My dad's in the military so we got transferred here my senior year in high school. I had a brother that was also a senior. At first it was just me and him so we would hang out with each other. Eventually he made friends and for some reason no one really seemed to like me all that much. When we had to partner up for projects in class no body wanted me in the groups so I would have to do it by myself and when we had to trade papers to grade them no one wanted to trade with me so nothing ever got graded. I didn't want to make it obvious and be the loser who goes to the teacher so someone would trade with me so I would just stay quite. As I said before my brother made friends so I would of course follow him. They would form a circle and I'd be left out everytime. So I would just go sit down at a bench by myself. It hurt alot because i didnt think he would just leave me like that. As he made more friends I continued sitting by myself hardly anyone would even say hi to me. As my senior year progressed I ended up having to go to a charter school to graduate on time. I got my diploma on time I was super happy proud of myself. Unfortunately my parents didn't really care to much, I would bring up me graduating and they would put me down saying I graduated from a charter school that it wasnt the same. It hurt that no one could just sit there and say good job I'm proud of you for getting it done. Just feel like I'm a failure and a loser. About a year passed now. I still have no friends. I've tried putting myself out there with social apps but nothing still. The only time my brothers friends contact me is when they want me to buy something. Of course I do it just to get out of the house. Today for example, today was Halloween I spent the day alone no texts no calls no anything,they called and asked me to buy them hookah pens so they picked me up i bought them and they just dropped me off back at my house they were all gunna hang out ND of course no invite. shocker right aha. I'm a great guy honestly. I used to have many friends I'm not a jerk and I'm super friendly and real fun to be around. Just no one really was interested i geuss. All I do now is work ND sleep. Life just feels so bland now. I feel as if I'm not wanted anywhere.....

Congratulations on graduating!! That's awesome!! Have you thought of taking any college classes? That would be a way to better your life in many ways including meeting new people. I'm in SD too. We moved about a year ago. My daughter moved back to NY. My son stayed there. Now, it's just my little one and me. He's only 3 & homeschooled. I work from home-the little work I've had. We have a cpl of activities but not many opportunities to meet people. It's been really hard. I miss my two oldest children. He does too. I'm sad & lonely. I hope he's not. Just dropped my son-your age- at the airport. My daughter leaves Tue and so does my little one's father. Tough week for us. :'(

Have the same problem. Although I'm not a military brat, I've lived in a few places. Right after I turned 13, I moved to a small town in Alabama. I loved it there and lived by the beach and made so many amazing friends. Fast-forward two years, I just turned 15 and we're moving to Colorado. I was excited at first, to start somewhere new and experience the west and the culture and make even more friends. I was very wrong. I've been here a year and a half now, I'm 16, and all I ever do is work and go to school. I'm wasting my high school years in my room rather than at beach parties with my friends and having a boyfriend. I hate this place and I'm invisible to everyone. Wish they had websites like this for schools so I could find someone close by to relate to.

I'm a 15 year old girl and about a month ago I moved from a big city in Italy to a small town in Ireland. I always had loads of friends who loved me and I could open up with, I had a boyfriend and I was close to my relatives. But since I've been here, it's been so hard. Most of the girls in my school aren't nice at all, they constantly judge me or talk **** behind me. I only have one friend here who lives quite far away from me and I feel like she's trying to avoid me. I keep in contact with my friends and family back in Italy, even though I broke up with my boyfriend.
About a year ago, I struggled with depression and self-harm and now that I feel so lonely, I fear that I could do something stupid.

Stumbled upon this entry...I'v lived in Charlotte area for 3 years and it seems like every time I do make a new friend or group of friends, somebody is moving or my schedule gets switched around so keeping up with friends and relationships isn't easy. It just hit me recently that 3 years have gone by down here and I feel like so much life has passed me by already. A girl I dated when I first moved down here is already getting married and my brother and his wife had a baby back in Boston and he's already 2 years old...I'v seen him maybe 5 times. I hate this situation I'm in and I feel trapped by my own thinking and decsion making.

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I moved from a small town to Atlanta, GA :( I HATE it! I hate everything about the city :( I feel lonely all the time. Even though I am married, I still need my girl friends and my sisters. It's been so long since I've had a girls night out. I feel like I am dying emotionally. I have never adapted to change easily. I think this is the biggest hardship yet that I've had to endure in my lifetime. I need some friends, but I don't know how to make some. I've made some "friends" from my church but they are not married and don't really understand me. We don't really share common interests either. I've made "friends" at work, but I'm not sure if I want to continue becoming closer to them because I've seen them gossip a lot about others behind their backs and other red flags.. I don't have enough money to join a gym and plus, I'm kinda shy... what should I do? I am kinda limited on time, too. I have a dog that needs attention, a home that needs cleaning, a husband that needs my love and affection, a job, and my self of course. But, on days when I am home and not at work, I feel so empty, lonely, and depressed. I need some encouragement. :(

I just moved two weeks ago from Dubai to New Zealand with my family. It's just been 2 weeks but it feels like longer. I am so depressed, I cry myself to sleep almost everyday. This country is way too under developed and slow compared to Dubai. I was never the queen bee, but I had a couple of good friends I could trust. Here, I don't know anyone my age. I feel so out of place here, and I highly doubt I'll ever fit in.

This feels like the worst move I've ever taken. I'm so depressed and just want to be left alone all day. My random mood swings have gotten way worse. I'm really trying to get used to it, by applying for part time jobs and really trying to be one among the crowd. But it's just not working. My college starts in February, and I can't imagine making friends then either.

Wish I could go back and stop the whole thing from taking place. I'm tired of being so sad and depressed and lonely and empty and useless. Wish my life would just take a turn for the better already.

Thank god I'm not the only one. I just moved to Montreal, and I decided to live in a student residence (I'm starting classes in a few months) to meet people, roommates etc. but I got put in an apartment with nobody else and it's really hard. I know nobody here and it's a really strange feeling as always had friends around back home. There aren't very many other people in the residence and I don't know how to meet them. The apartment is pretty small, but it feels huge because of the lack of other people. I hope it doesn't escalate into anything more serious than sadness and loneliness, but I wish I knew how to establish my roots here. So far, it's been really tough. I feel you.

I don't know if you still use this site, and I never have before until I read the first few words on a random night. "I just moved to Montreal". It's been about a year for me too since I moved to Montreal, and I was just thinking about how I'm tired of being on a computer in my room (16 M) all day and I want to go out and live. Sadly I have no REAL friends, my school has a lower amount of people than most and none of them are really people, more so walking hockey sticks, and I'm from Jersey, where it's a completely different life style. How did you start to change things if you did? (Now let me read the rest of your post.) Okay, well I have been sad because of being alone, completely, but not nearly everyday, I have a strong resolve to not care I guess, but I know I need to go outside but the way I see it, theres nothing to do without friends. -West Island, Jersey kid.

Yo I'm in the exact same situation here. I moved from California to Indonesia (my first move ever...) All the people here are just... UGG, either I'm ****** weird or they are ****** weird because I'm having a hard time connecting with anyone. I never had this problem in Cali so naturally I think it's them. Anyways I'm 16 too and all I do is sit on my computer on weekends...

I've moved recently from New England, Connecticut to Belfast Northern Ireland. All I can say is that it's far from easy. There's a lot I wanted to get away from but I still feel so torn and extremely lonely. I've been doing my upmost to persevere and I've actually been doing pretty decent up until winter. Blah winter :( I don't know where I want to be right now. 'Home' doesn't have much to offer but now I'm feeling Belfast doesn't either. All I can say to anyone is don't allow your loneliness and homesickness to get the better of you. It is so hard but we just cannot allow ourselves to slip into depression. I'm determined to make this work.

I feel you. I just moved from Memphis to Des Moines and its been a challenge. I've met some great people and have had some good experiences. I don't regret my move, yet and still I feel so disconnected. I think its part of the transition though, until we all get grounded and accustomed to the new area. Best of luck to us :-)

OMG reading these comment and this post made me feel so much better, to know i am not alone. I too just made a really big move... I am from Barbados and just moved to the US. Everybody back home would think I am enjoying it but i am not... My bf of 2 years we ended up breaking up, with the distance and everything, on top of that I have absolutely no one to talk to about it, no one around to say hey lets go ,most days i just stay curled in my bed crying. I think i might be slipping into depression and don't know how to stop it..... i hate the person i have become and the way my life is now. Everyday feels like a struggle

im 15 years old and i got bullied abit last year and had depression issues and had lots of dramas and fall outs with my friends and then things got better and finally started being really liked by most people and was so happy there and nearly ended up having the most perfect boyfriend aswell but my parents moved me to the otherside of the world. i lived in new zealand and they moved me to wales in the UK and i aboustly hate it, ive tried making friends here but i just cant, its so different here and i just dont fit in. i cry everyday and all i want to do is go back home to new zealand. i miss my friends and i've given it time here but it still hasn't got any better and after my depression last year i just really can't handle another year of being alone and depressed ;( so i know exactly how you feel. moving is so **** and especially when your a teenage. I'd do anything to go home, im so alone.

Yea.. I know exactly how you feel. I moved back home from Albuquerque to Virginia almost 6 months ago. I have a job, I go to school, & yet I can't seem to find any friends. I feel really lonely, I cry randomly, I guess i'm just really depressed. I try and make friends, but I always feel like they don't want to hangout with me. I guess I spend so much time alone that my self esteem has completely crumbled. This too shall pass right? I sure do hope so. I don't think i can stand feeling this way much longer, I wanna be happy you know?

I'm in same boat moved to new state. Big life change no friends. Bored and lonely. Depressed eating and drinking a lot. I gained so......much weight. I can not find get a job. Thinking I'm over qualified. Just really down

I feel your pain... Just moved from Indiana to Canada. I've been here for 4 months now and still have no real friends. I can't trust anyone, or share anything with anyone. I basically just keep to myself and put a smile on until I get home. My mom seems upset all the time, so I have my own pain plus that of my mother's. I used to be the kid everyone wanted to hang out with, and now no one even knows my name, and I just want to go home... So basically, I get what your saying man, best of luck, and I hope both our situations get better.

i understand how most people are feeling. i live in britain and had a massive move four years ago. i was only young but it still devistated me. eventually though i made friends, better and closer than the ones i had before. i could honestly see my future there, how i would do in school and eventually later on in life. but a week ago i moved again,this time even bigger. i thought i'd be able to cope,with the experience from last time. but i just cant. its destroyed me. im not myself anymore. i have no sense of motivation to carry on doing well in my education or even attempt to make new friends. i desperatly want to be home schooled, but i dont think my parents would agree to the idea. their attitude is simply - youve done it once, you can do it again. but i just dont have the emoitional strength. anyways i just wanted to say reading the comments on here and realising its not just me has helped alot. - thankyou.x

Same with me. I moved from Anaheim California to Tokyo Japan. Everything is so different and I hav a few friends but theyre not my best friends where I can basically talk to to them about everything. Whenever I see my best friends in America post something like going to a party or something with a friend and see their pic, I feel really depressed cuz they're having a great time and I'm not. I feel like a loser just sitting in my room and looking through their posts on Facebook.

We in same boat I feel your pain

I can relate its hard to make friends. Its not like grade school. Hello I'm Jennifer nice to meet you by the way. Have you tried going to a local bar like a good neighborhood sports bar where you can become a regular or join a gym or group?

Good idea
love it

I feel everyones pain.. I just moved from sheboygan to san diego and i am 18. I know nobody. I live right by a college and i see teens together all the time. but idw too just say hi want to be friends. I am so lonely i have been here for a month now. help

I wish people were as outgoing as I am because I can't even get them to look me in the eye here in Virginia! Self-absorbed aholes. We have 1 neighbor that says hi to us and he even helped us move our furniture into the apartment which later we returned the favor. NICE GUY! But he is the only one since we moved here 4 months ago. I've said hi to people walking by and they've just kept walking and ignored me!

What am I supposed to do be a weirdo and go knocking on doors "HEY WANNA' BE MY FAAAAARIEND?"

It's not like when you're 5 years old and you can go to the neighbor kid's "CAN JIMMY COME OUT AND PLAY?"

But, if it were I'd have more friends! :P

i just moved from texas to utah, and texas is so much better, i feel your pain, i went from maybe the top 5 most popular person in my grade, to the loner where nobody knew my name. i don't know why i don't have any, i go to a summer camp and I'm popular there, and i don't know what to do. and its not just people not liking me, i hate all of them to be honest, i am just pissed of right now, i don't know if just everyone at the school is weird, or just the town in general. they are all SUPER religious (i have nothing against that) and all the talk about is religious stuff which i am kind of left out on.

i know exactly how you feel but i think my situation is worse i moved from ohio to tokyo japan and i dont even speak the same language as these people. Not only do i have no friends but its going to be very hard or almost impossible for me to make friends.

I live in Tokyo Japan too!!! Which station do u live near? I like near shinagawa

I feel your pain. Moved from small city in Wisconsin to a Detroit suburb to be with my fiancé. He's a wonderful man who treats me great, but his parents are so boring and self-absorbed compared to my lively, caring family. The people here are rude, inconsiderate, selfish, superficial...and straight up stupid - something I am NOT used to at all. I miss my family and friends, miss my old job (10 years!), miss having easy access to the lovely people who've known and loved me my whole life. Still haven't found a job after a half year of searching, there's nothing nearby to volunteer at and my neighbors are distant or just plain unlikable, so I can't even make casual friends. I'm 43, so I'll certainly never make close friends again, not after seeing how different things are here and how poorly I fit into it all, which just compounds my distress and loneliness. I'm losing my sense of individuality - I don't feel special or pretty or talented anymore. I gave up a lot. I miss my old life terribly and almost wish I'd never met the man I love. Terrible to say, but true.<br />
I wish I had advice, but I can only wish you well.

Yeah, feel your pain. I'm a 15 year old kid who just moved to an new city, I have no friends. My mom seems sad and I don't know what to do. I take 2 pains at the same time....

I just moved to Miami too, im from connecticut and i also have no friends..its very different down here when it comes to lifestyle and the crowd but ive been trying to adjust..gym definitely helps but i almost feel as if im suffering from social anxiety too. Its like i forgot how to talk to strangers and dont know how to connect with them, i want my normal social life back :|..any advice for Miami??

I just moved to Ohio from TX and share the same lonely feelings as everyone here. <br />
<br />
Everyone at my work place is either:<br />
<br />
1. Working from home.<br />
2. Married.<br />
3. Old.<br />
<br />
I joined a tennis club and everyone I play tennis with is:<br />
<br />
1. Married.<br />
2. Old.<br />
<br />
I started playing indoor soccer with a group of guys. All are college students. But maybe there's promise in this one. They are all Turkish though, or most. So they tend to stick together where as I am Asian.

I Just Moved To Miami Three Months Ago, I Went From The Girl Who Knew Everybody and Had Many Associates To The Girl That Knows Nobody and Is A Stranger. Since Im Lonely and Depressed Ive Suffered From Aniexiety and I Know Longer Feel Like Myself...! I Left Behind Everything That I Was Accustomed To and Its Killing Me.

Write down what interest you . Work out gym, martial arts, church, hobby and volunteer. If you volunteer unselfishly I guarantee your friends will overflow. It is amazing , but the less we put self first the more people who are attracted to us. When you have a job, it is easier to get a job. When you are in a network of people who care, more people are attracted to you because , they want what you got! My mother n law moved to San Diego in the 50s from Wisconsin and joined a Wisconsin club. To the Italian work part time in an Italian restaurant or frequent little Italy as they are in almost every city. Check out your interest which require pairs like a tennis club, or whatever club. Good luck and knock em out and God bless. Also Pray

I under stand I just moved to London from Somerset a little place in the uk. iv met people at my new school but there not really like my close old friends and I don't not want to have a nice group of Girly mates just thinking about this makes mee so depressed I hate my life at the moment and my new school is soo hard and I'm trying to catch up with there work but I feel like I don't deserve to be there ... And it does not help that my dad is in the army so we have to move more often than most people and I'm not getting on with my family recently I find myself short tempered and constantly irritated ... I don't want to be an sad angry person ...


I feel your pain. I just moved to New York from Washington State 4 months ago and have yet to make any friends here... People are different here, and I left all of my friends and family to come here. I have no idea how to make real friends here.

Awww.... Well, I can't honestly relate to you, for I have never moved to a new home and city. But I can offer this advice; God will make things better. Check out a nearby church; there are a lot of loyal and faithful people in churches. I'll be praying for you, honey. This WILL get better. I promise.

I know how you feel. Ive felt the same far to many times to count.

i can totally understand how u feel...i moved too to chicago from italy 5 months ago and i don t know why i can t make any friends here cause i m not shy i have so many friends in italy i v never had problems with this...here is just...idknow...friendship is different...i m so sad,lonely,depressed!

i can totally understand how u feel...i moved too to chicago from italy 5 months ago and i don t know why i can t make any friends here cause i m not shy i have so many friends in italy i v never had problems with this...here is just...idknow...friendship is different...i m so sad,lonely,depressed!

Totally feel your pain. Moved from a city where I felt loved, supported and appreciated to one where my new co-workers all have relationships and families for support, and don't really understand me. I've been here 4 years and haven't made any real friends, so I spend most nights & weekends alone, observing life from the outside, like I'm an alien.