Sometimes I Wonder Why God Screws Me Over Even Though I Have Done Nothing Wrong And I Need Somebody To Talk To.
Im 15, and i have more issues then most adults, im a guy, and im overweight, but not obese, i hate myself, im not bad looking, i have hair that almost goes to my shoulders, and i wonder what ive done to deserve the treatment i get from people, Sometimes i feel im purposely avoided by friends, espicially girls, for no reason. And there are only two people im close to in this world and they dont even know im depressed, in fact no one does. the only people who im close to is my dad and my best friend tanner, my parents are divorced so i hardly see my dad and when i do my step mom hogs him and i hardly get to hang out with him, so lately ive had no one to talk to, so the biggest thing im trying to get out of this website is someone to talk to and i wont feel crazy or insane. Every girl i start to like turns out to be a *****, *****, or both, i dont ask for much, all i want is a girl who will love me thin and thick and will talk to me and not judge when i get a little down, i probabaly wont tell you because i hide my emotions from everyone, everyday before i leave my house i look in the mirror, see the person i hate, put on a fake smile and head out the door and ignore every problem i have, but when i get home and all i have to do is think, i realize how lonely, depressed, andhow much i wish i had someone to talk to. I would never kill myself but ive though about death more then the average joe. My biggest fear in life is one day im going to look in the mirror, realize im 40 something, notice ive done nothing in my life but party and hide my emotions, and be all alone. So the short thing is i fear being alone, and im already starting to fear that i will. I have alot more problems but i dont like to share everyting with strangers so if you to talk, i have a facebook, just email me or something, so if you recognize any of my pain, befriend me, i dont care who you are.