So Many Friends And Yet So Lonely....have you ever feel lonely even though you have friends.
Well, there are many types of friends. Classmates, ex-classmate that you only contact via hand phone or e-mail or via online social networking.
I don't know how to describe my situation well, but I'll try my best.
When my friends(ex-classmate) and I went our separate way after finish study, I try to keep in touch with them by messaging them via hand phone. I don't know what I have did wrong, but there usually did not reply my message. I feel sad waiting for reply that never come. After a while, I stop trying to keep in touch with them. But sometime I do feel lonely and try to keep in touch with them again, but my heart still got broken from the unreply message. Sometime, they message back, and most of them said, long time didn't hear from you. miss you. Sometime I just wanna scream at them and tell them, if they miss me, why there is no reply and I'm the only one that try to keep in touch with them. Do they really speak from their heart. Now I have completely stop messaging them and stop wasting my money for them.
It also doesn't help with my Facebook or messanger. When I goes online, there is a very long list of friends, yet I still feel lonely. So many friends and yet nobody even say hello or hi. From ex-classmate or the current classmate. No on is even bother to talk to me when I'm online. and yet they keep having something to talk to each other and not me. I know it kind of pathetic, but that how I feel. I try to start conversation first, by asking how there are doing but it don't even aid my loneliness. I feel very lonely when I see the long list of friends. I try to reverse psychology my self by keep my self invisible when I'm online on messanger and facebook. I kinda think that if even I'm online, there is no one to talk to me, just be invisible, then no one will see me and they will never talk to me. I still like to be online to check my e-mail using messanger and playgames on facebook. Being invisible is the only way that I can keep peace in my heart. It is very sad to have so many friends but have no friends. Sometime I feel very depressed from this, and make me feel even lonelier.
I have no best friend. The person that close to me kinda of come and go, I have them for sometime and they are gone after a while. I don't know why this keep happening, I guess I'm not the kind of people that is fun to be with.
I don't know how many people will response to this story, I kinda have bad luck at people replying me.