Too Damned Proud To Quit~Hello all, my name is MK, or Marcus Kerensky to those of you who need a full name. I have spent of my life alone, feeling like a dickensian orphan pressing his nose to a warm window of a happy family at christmas. I am handsome, intelligent, literate, passionate, well spoken and polite. Yet I am alone, utterly. I have been an abject failure in every relationship Ive ever had, I never seem to say quite the right thing at the right time, and being intelligent, and aware of it only makes it worse, as I blush, then stammer, and finally just shut down and look sheepish and juvenile. This is not something I used to do, but a result of other people, mostly women I have dated who suffer from social anxiety disorder. Couple that with my sense of "outsideness", and I have become nigh unto a recluse. Im here because I just want others to know that this is something I fight everyday, and win. Even if it doesn't feel like it, I am. To be honest though, the harder I try, the more tired and beat down I feel. Alot of this stems from the fact that I dont even know how, or where to meet a woman these days, and that just degrades my self esteem even more.
I guess my point is though, I fight, every day to be stronger, and learn, and better myself, rather than succumb to how I feel all of the time. I just refuse to be a "statistic", or a sob story in the back of a church program on the floor of the church closet.
If anyone ever wants to talk, plz just drop me a line. I do understand......
Always With Honor
MarcusKerensky 31-35 3 Responses 0 Nov 18, 2011