Feel Like I'm Trapped In A Vicious Cycle......Well I guess the title sums up the result of my current life so I guess I should elaborate. I've been divorced for 8 years now and haven't even dated in a few years now. I've given online dating several attempts which just lead to more disappointment. Over the past year my life completely unraveled to where I lost my job, home, and most important self confidence as I had to move in with family, I'm 37 and that's devastating to me. And if that wasn't enough to make someone depressed add in that I have no friends or anyone to talk to except my ex-wife and it's enough to make me want to give up. I do have 2 kids so there is no chance of that, my daughter lives 2 states away and my son is close so that's at least something. But what am I doing to his psyche with me being so depressed all the time?
I'm working at a temporary employment service to at least keep some money coming in, only 1/3 of my previous wages so barely enough to make car payment and gas to keep looking for stable employment but not enough to live on. Even if I had money I have no friends to do anything anyways. I can honestly answer that I haven't had anyone that resembles a friend in over 10 years. I am on facebook and have several contacts on there but can't say that I have any friends there either since no one ever seems to talk to me, I make posts, comment on their sites, and try and interact but basically just seem to be ignored in everything. The real ironic part is I'm actually happy go lucky at work and get along great with the people when I'm there but have been declined invitations to do things and have invitations declined in return. Just writing and thinking about those facts makes me want to cry, I have no idea what to do and feel so alone right now I can't stand it anymore.