Depression And Lack Of Motivation

hi, i was the kinda guy that followed everyone to fit in. i was a loser and was late with everything, then finally in about 11th grade i resided to start my own path and be myself but the only reason i could do that was because i joined the football time and got stronger and confident. my problem was that i was a Quitter, i quit the football team because i thought i wasn't gonna make it just like i quit everything else.. i never believed i'm ever good enough for anything or anyone, even now. I have this addiction with progress and moving forward.i'm now meditating to obtain patience but its still a huge problem.. i'm in college now and i'm now more alone and depressed then ever. iv advanced passed my own path and made no real room for anyone else. the friends i do have aren't really good people so i distance myself from them so i dont begin to get the bad habits that they have. That has left me all alone, which is how its been for the past 2 or 3 years now,i have gotten use to being alone now and its eats me inside. i stay home all day and night doing nothing at all. i'm completely unproductive because i'm unmotivated. like what is the point of doing anything if nothing is gonna really change. lately i have been working out but i see people that are where i wanna be and it gets to me in a negative way. the first 2 weeks seeing fit people motivated me but now it just adds to my depression. all i do is listen to the same song every day over and over again(Walking on a Dream" by Empire of the sun) i dont clean my car and i haven't gotten new clothing in a year now. i'm just slowly not caring, lately i'm losing motivation to work out and once that's out then i'm gone
i have just reached a point that i know its gonna get better but i'm getting tired of waiting. i have been waiting 19 years for a girl that i like to maybe like me back. i'm a very respectful, young man just trying to find love in a world that is losing faith in love. i see guys that are just completely selfish and disrespectful with wonderful girls and i just think WTH. i know that every cloud has a silver lining and i know that when you hit the bottom there's no place to go but up. At this time i just wanna crumble under the pressure and wait for someone to save me. only thing keeping me going is the Idea that i'm the hero in my story.

elbravo1393 elbravo1393
18-21, M
1 Response May 8, 2012

Don't give up. Always believe in yourself, hard work pays off. Keep going to the gym, and noice your accomplishments and give yourself praise for them. Keep a positive attitude and positive things will come to you. Use positive self talk to allow yourself to keep going.