So Alone

I grew up going from foster home to foster home, group home to group home, shelter to shelter. I went to 13 different high schools so I've never really had any friends or family. Now I am in a loveless marriage. When my husband is home he doesn't talk to me or show me any type of affection...which is better than it used to be. When we first got married he would cheat and throw it in my face. With our without him, I am so lonely. I try to be a good person. I open up to new friendships but I still am all alone.
Poorjes Poorjes
2 Responses May 8, 2012

You deserve better, don't ever settle for less. You need to value your self worth. You are worth more than that. You should try to go to see a therapist and build on your self esteem. I'm sure you feel the way you do because of the past and how you were treated. <br />
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It's never too late to find happiness.

You have poor self-esteem, which is not surprising given your background. It does not matter if you try to be a good person...that is have chosen to be with a man who abuses you. This has nothing to do with being good or bad. Is it possible to leave him? I am very sorry, but do you really think that a man who loves you would treat you this way? And, to think that it is now better because he is not throwing his cheating in your face...well yes...I guess it is better, but that was cruel and callous, and it is also cruel to withhold affection from the one you love. However, it seems fair to say that he does not love you, nor does her respect you. The only thing for you to do is love and respect yourself. Get away from him as fast as you can. It's terribly difficult I know, but don't let him or anyone else treat you like a doormat, and wipe their feet all over you. Stand up for yourself, and expect to be treated with respect and dignity. I'm here if you want to talk. Just send me a message.