What Will Become Of Me?

what will become of me? I'm a talentless looser who's only friends think she's annoying. I wont ever suceed at any job i ever do. I'm not exaptionaly beautiful, I can't play sports or any musical instrament. My grades are in the toilet and I have these unrealistic fantasies of meeting my true love. I'm good for nothing! no one needs me. if i die right now, no one will care. when i walk down the halls in school no one notices me! I'm invisible. i'm involved in activities that i do not enjoy, i am not good at, and i have no friends in. as a teenage i feel all this pressure to be perfect. when in reality i'm not. i'm the exact opposite. everyone sayd you are beautiful and nobody's perfect, but that is crap. it does nothing to me. because i know that when the words come out of their mouth they dont mean it, not really. they are only saying it to make me feel better, but it doesn't. it only makes me feel worse
juliet4ever juliet4ever
18-21, F
2 Responses May 12, 2012

i know what you feel and what caused your problem is the continuous falling in your activities. so that made falling an expected fact for anything you will do. you have to change this idea by trying all visible activities for you and you will succeed in something because no one of us isn't talented and if you think that you aren't talented then you are extremely talented in thinking about that. just you live in a dark small room of failures and once you open the windows and breathe the fresh air you will change for sure.

I can relate to your feelings of loneliness and worthlessness. I'm going through the same feelings myself as a middle-aged man who has done some rather exceptional things like getting a PhD and working for NASA. Yet all my life I've had a hard time making friends, being social, and finding romantic love. I've battled depression my entire adolescent and adult life. The constant message in my head is, "I hate myself. I'll never find love because I'm unlovable. Don't try finding friends or a romance because in the end you'll get rejected." I felt like I had to try so hard to be perfect. If I wasn't, I would not be acceptable to others. <br />
<br />
I read a book recently by Greg Baer called "Real Love." He went through a similar experience and discovered that the way out was to find others who would love him unconditionally while he told them the whole truth about himself. I've started the long process of looking for others who will accept me for who I am - warts and all. (You'll understand that reference if you read the book.) EP seems to be full of people who will identify with what I'm going through and are willing to accept me where I am. I'm glad I stumbled across it.<br />
<br />
Thank you for being so brave to share your experience. I hope we both find a way out of this depression.