Alone And Lonely In A Crowded Room

Been thinking a lot lately. I mean, we all think obviously- but actually I've just sort have been going through the motions.

You can do that sometimes, I guess.. I think more often than we do, we should self examine, self reflect a bit. I guess that's what this is.. Well, it definitely is. Met a lot of interesting people this year, and I've had beautiful conversations. Like moments where the room and vibe felt surreal and everything being said, flowed as if we were all just spinning this vivid web where every sentence stuck itself quotable. Witness a few people dive against the rocks. Watched them jump and I jumped with them if only to free fall for a little- I caught myself. They didn't. It's sad to hear about things like that, especially when you watch it happen.

Caught up with a lot of old friends, and man times have changed and we're all really growing into ourselves. Times are always changing and maybe, yeah we do mellow out- but the thing is, for the first time ever, I actually feel like I'm exactly where I am suppose to be. I'm not rolling the night off at some rave, or loading slabs of concrete onto a truck, I'm not blasted off any and everything or trying to be. A friend of mine had this heart to heart, where I was telling him my problem, with never feeling satisfied and he taught me a little something about mindful meditation.****'s gospel applause, man hahaha I mean, this isn't in anyway close to the where I want to be or the end game result or anything... I don't know but lately, yeah, I've been running around scrambling for things to do to keep myself happy even if for like a second.. It's that whole problem where the answer is to stop and smell the roses kinda thing, I know lol, but I guess I needed to hear something a little deeper than that to feel compelled to comply.All these people on facebook, and I barely talk to any of them let alone actually see them?
We are living breathing dying organisms that wear shoes. We are the lonely people of the world that live inside our own heads. I wish I had more going, wish I had more friends to talk to.
bangeraangschwarb bangeraangschwarb
18-21
May 19, 2012