The Worst Part

The Worst Part wasn't waking up alone in bed with an empty bottle of pills and a box of wine.

It wasn't the dreams, or the slow realization you were still alive or not knowing what day it was.

The Worst Part wasn't the sound of the sirens or of the knocking on the door.

It wasn't even the way your head hurt. Or the way your words slurred when you tried to speak.

The Worst Part was how you were already thinking about ways to pick up the broken pieces of your life.

The Worst Part was the faint glimmer of hope deep inside already beginning to burn.
Braalian Braalian
26-30, M
1 Response Dec 1, 2012

Life continues past all of this. Painful, but true. I didn't hear anything. I woke up 4 days later wishing that I had succeeded in my attempt. I thought that I had experienced everything that mattered. I was wrong. I still struggle with bouts of depression. Even hopelessness. I've made up my mind that things have to get better. I am here for a reason, as are you. I don't know what that reason is. No one does. Do whatever you can to make sense out of your situation. Introspection. It's very difficult to sort out the the whys. Why do I feel this way? Why did I allow myself to be treated in this manner? Why didn't I make better decisions? Why do I deserve this? Whatever your "Why", understanding¬†that some of the people that we encounter have just as many issues, if not more than we do. You can't change anyone or anything but yourself. Be better for you. It's OK to be selfish in some ways, just not suicide. Suicide is a selfish act. I used to ask,"How am I being selfish for taking what belongs to me?‚ÄĚ. I realized that maybe, in some way, that my experiences may help someone else in some way. I'm thankful that you're still here. Of course, I have no idea who you are. But we have to be here while we can to help one another. Your post is a demonstration of your earnest desire to sort out your feelings. I'm very proud of you. Thanks for helping others realize that they're not alone in this struggle. Keep sharing!