I Like Talking To People..but Have No One To Talk To..

Hi - I'm Joe. I'm a junior in high school. I've been struggling a lot in the past years with personal problems. I'm extremely shy, like the shiest of shy. So I had to really work with myself to make friends and feel comfortable. Last year when I was a sophomore, I was finally in a place where I was saying to myself "Wow, you've made friends, you're grades are fantastic, and maybe things will get better". Then, it was taken from me. I had to switch schools due to circumstances too long to explain. I was horrified. I've yet to make friends due to my curse of being too scared to speak to all of these new people. Plus I rarely speak to my old friends. It's like they've forgotten about me. I'm out of their way anyways..Now I'm stuck walking through the halls of my new school speaking about a sentence a day. It's not that I'm anti-social, or a mean person. I'm actually very kind..It's just I never make that first move to say "Hi, my name is-". And still waiting, waiting because I'm too afraid to talk. It's the same thing everyday..school, nap, homework, bed - and no friends or people to talk to. Just myself and I don't like it one bit! I get to see these kids enjoy their high school experiences with their friends. They get to smile and laugh and enjoy their lives, while I get to watch. And only watch. While I sit there and look forward to nothing. With my lack of friends I've been spending so much time alone..I only leave my house for school because that's my only reason. I just miss the feeling of going into school ready to talk to my best friend, sharing classwork and asking for help. Not changing for gym together and walking home together. Now I do all of those things alone, and cry almost every night about it. Thank you for reading if you did..
ohpooratlas ohpooratlas
18-21, M
5 Responses Dec 8, 2012

Hi. You are not alone!

Are u able to go to school dances or other social activities like clubs in your new school. I felt the same way as you did when going to a new high school mid-way thru 9th grade. Everyone already had their cliques. For me, it was making and starting on the Varsity baseball team as a 9th grader suddenly made me popular with the upperclassmen and that in turn changed my perception in my class. So if there is something that you are good at and like, give it a try. You can always write me here, I check daily as I'm dealing with my own issues.

Well I played tennis, so when that starts in the Spring I'll pick it up again and hopefully find some new people. Thank you.

I'll keep an eye out for you and pull for your happiness. Sports can do that for kids. You can write me anytime u just want to talk to someone. Things will pick up for you.

I was so shy in high school I only made friends with other loners. I would look around my classes for another kid who didn't talk to others and then slowly mentally prepare myself to talk to them. Eventually we would talk. And in the mean time always know that the understanding section of the people on the internet will be your friend.

That's what I've been trying to do, it's just opportunities to do that are so rare and I always end up chickening out. But I'm trying. Thank you :)

Hi George, I guess your life and what will happen in the future all depends on your next move. Or the move after that. Unfortunately, no one really cares to talk to the new kid. They already have thir own friends and say why bother taking the intitiative if i already have friends. So THEy will never make he first. So, this all comes down to how much you want to make friends. If it's truly something you want, I would've thought maybe you already wouldve tried by this point. I dont see the point in trying to be something youre not though. But I do think all of us have something to say from time to time. Why dont u just speak what you want to speak?

I always want to say something, but I second guess myself all the time..not wanting to say the wrong thing and make myself look foolish in front of people. When someone actually does talk to me, my face gets all red, I get fidgety, and say nonsense unrelated to the conversation because I get uncomfortable..which leads to looking foolish. I don't speak up because this happens every time I say something in front of new people. It's difficult for me..but thanks for the advice. My name is Joe by the way, not George. :)

Alright George. I was you exactly 1 year ago. I was spending time with people and inviting them over to my house just because i wanted some acoompaniment. Bunch of freeloading ******** didnt like me for who i was. I started ************ last year. And before this i had a lot of respect for women and thought by ************ i was somehow being the wolrd's biggest ****. THis led to ultimate **** feeling. After a while I became utterly afraiid to say anything to anyone. Around May of last year I discovered something that would change my life forever. I first became interested in Odd Future and Tyler the Creator. Thier message changed the course of my life forever. Be yourself. AND **** WHAT ANYBODY ELSE THINKS. You do what you think is right George. You be you.

I feel like I'm writing to a younger version of myself. That's how much you remind of myself Joe! Every word feels like it could have been written by me.

Growing up my family moved a lot. I went to a total of 8 high schools. The last one I was actually popular. But it didn't really start off that way. When classes started I was talking to no one. I was too terrified of making myself look like an idiot. So I just sat there and made little to no conversation with people. It felt like everyone was in these clicks and I wasn't. I used to sit in class by myself and I never even went out during recess. Girls would come up to ask me if I was okay (pity) I would just nod and say yeah.

That all changed one day when the English teacher made me sit with other guys in my class and had us tell each other interesting stories from our lives. I started telling mine and noticed EVERYONE in class listening to me engrossed in my story. After I was done telling them the story Everyone kept asking me for another one. And I made friends with people in the school news paper. My storied were in every school paper for 3 years. I become super known in my high school. I got invited to parties from all the "cool" kids. End of year one.

(Second year of high school)
When classes started I knew I had only the first 2-3 days to cement my coolness in the mind of all the new students. I sat on my table and started talking to everyone. Telling them all the b@dass stuff that happened to me. Everyone noticed me talking (including the new hot chicks) I caught the attention of this girl named Elizabeth (super cute). We became best friends and because of her, I loved the second year of high school.

You need give yourself a chance man. Makesmall changes. Like I did. Buy or (download) "rules of the game" by neil strauss. It has daily missions that will intern make you more social. Go outside every day and make small talk with people waiting for the bus. Keep doing it until you're so relaxed doing it, it becomes second nature to you. Trust me YOU CAN DO THIS I BELIEVE IN YOU!
Courage are the words you say to yourself when you say "I'll try again tomorrow"

I'll try to remember this, thank you so much.

No problem. Keep me in the loop dude. And if you ever want to talk just send me a message. I'll be more than happy to help! :)

Gladly! c: