So today I thought about killing myself for the first time as I have had 2 dates this week one left me in the middle of it said he was going to the toilet and never come back the other one blew me off, I confined in the only friend I have left who i thought wasn't attached to there boyfriend but turns out he is to and when I told him what has happened he just asked me to send him a picture of him with his boyfriend that I took for him a few weeks back. Didn't acknowledge that I felt alone and depressed ugly and unwanted I thought about killing myself and if anyone would notice or care.
Bellaalone Bellaalone
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 9, 2012

Some young guys don't have a clue do they? Like some half assembled robot with a circuit missing! That is actually what it feels like sometimes. "I'm not programmed to do this, what do I do?". As us guys get older we change, learn a bit more, like how to behave in social situations, listen more. You'll learn with experience to spot when we are heading for a tricky situation and be able to give us a few prompts. Things can't stay the same. You have chosen a nice name, Bella, it brings back sweet memories of my childhood.

Thanks, it's my actual name x

hey hun, i'm really sorry you had to go through all that :(
i know what it's like to have suicidal thoughts, but all i can say is that i just hope you never decide to take that option, your life is too precious to throw away.
i tend to get vibes off of people and can tell what a person is like and well i can see you have a kind soul and are obviously someone who is caring. i can sense that in you.

all i can say is that if you ever need someone to talk to then i am here for you.
just dont throw your life away hun.