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I Am So Alone and Depressed

I used to be a happy person but since i was 11..i started not to hang out with my friends. That's when i first got my period..i felt uncomfortable going out,i was really scared that i got my period,i even stopped studying just because of that. I know,it's pretty weird. But that's me..i'm a weirdo. Since then,i no longer have friends.

I'm really shy and quiet person since i was a kid..especially in school. I don't talk a lot. My classmates described me as shy,quiet and weird. I just stay at home,i don't know how to talk to people face to face,i tend to hide my true feelings,i'm NOT sociable..that's why i'm here cause i feel more comfortable expressing my feelings and thoughts.

I do really miss my childhood days,cause i used to play outside, having friends,playmates i was so happy and wasn't having problems. It's such a great childhood. And how i wish i could turn back the time.

My parents encourage me to go outside and find new friends,but i can't..i don't how. I have mixed feelings now,i'm lonely,depressed,angry and confused. I feel so alone,i always cry at night cause that's the only way i can let the sadness & pain out. I am so sick and tired of feeling like this. I wish i had someone who i can share my feelings with,who's a crying shoulder. But there's no one. I always want to scream but i can't. I sometimes feeling suicidal but i can't do it.

I am sooo depressed and i envy the people who have the opposite situation and i envy the people who have someone who's always be there for them.

darkmood darkmood 16-18, F 45 Responses May 23, 2007

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I know exactly what you're feeling,if until this moment things are the same,i have one question; How old are you? I'm 14 in case you're insecure to answer,where i live people are always in pairs specially school,no one knows who i can truly become,i've had a moderate to severe depression for a couple of years now,i've never went to kindergarten or preschool so no good memories to share so far. I'm the loneliest person at school too. Please reply,it would be the best. Thanks for your attention.

me too. I have no friends, relatives. Husband hates me and turned kids against me

Im right where you at when you wrote this... I share your pain, your lost and your demons.

I can completely understand ur situation.. Even i feel the same.. I can't express my feelings, can't tell what i am going through as i don't want to see my people unhappy because of me.. I always feel alone.. I feel like there's no one i can share my feelings, my pain with.. It's just that sometimes i feel like hell, feels like my life is becoming worst day by day.. I am a kind person but people mistakes my kindness as a sign of my weakness and took advantage.. I don't know where's my going on but i don't know why sometimes i feel like committing suicide but i can't as there's many people depends on me.. I can't just left them behind just because i am fed up with my life.. I tries to keep a face smile on my face 24x7 but behind that smile there's pain only pain and no one will ever be able to see that pain..

I've felt that way before, I still do but if you want... I will listen to what you have to say cuz I know what it's like to not be able to tell people how you feel, a lot of people depend on me so I can't afford to break down in front of them, I'm also alone, but I have gone through a lot in life and I promised I would always help those that ask me to, so stay strong and I hope things get better for you

You just described my teenage years and I can see ur life as a mirror of my past life. You know what u have to try to talk to someone dont worry about judgements from other people. You havent hurt anyone to deserve lonliness. Stop punishing yourself. Start talking with others. You will feel a greater release of pain. An individual cant live alone she has to merge herself with others to survive

I'm growing several personality disorders but none have taken my mind... Yet. I wish i could meet some one with my same problems cause no one takes em seriously.

I feel your pain trust me. I have bipolar disorder. I'm extremely shy and low self-esteem. It's hard for me to talk to people and make friends. Especially being around boys. I never have real bf. my child hood was great just like yours but when I grow up to teenager and up till my age now 27. Life been mostly been very hard. I lost my grandma August 4,2009. My real dad left me when I was little. My mom has schizopenia so it's hard to have normal relationship with her. I Harley get out of the house. Cause I'm so shy and low self-esteem. I mostly always think of suicide cause I'm so tired of living. But if I do it I won't go have but hell. And it's mortal sin to kill yourself. I feel so unattractive to boys. Ps I'm here if u want to talk about anything I would try to judge you. I, your true friend. Don't be scared to confined in me. :)

its ok. dont u see all these nice responses? you could have online freinds i will be your freind and i bet u my hat evry one else will be to cuz i think ur cool u explain what u feel and thats ok to be awquard or out there i am just like u ur not alone

Hi darkmood,
I am feeling what you felt now. I know it really feels terrible. Well, I used to have friends too. But now one of them who is the most popular one is ignoring me. Well more like avoiding me. And then suddenly, all of my friends were gone. I was always alone at lunch. I felt really uncomfortable when people who used to be my friends gather together and I was being left behind. I don't know if this can help you but try to be happy, care not about what others think of you. Try to smile and laugh easily, then people will think you're a easy going person and you'll get some friends. I'm not sure if this is gonna work but try it, it makes no harm afterall.

Hi darkmood
I'm sorry to hear your having a rough time, being in your teens is really tough. I have 4 kiddies and 2 of them are 16 and 17 I think that's around about your age group. My 16 yr old boy has been diagnosed with bi polar disorder and he is struggling with having no real friends and kids at school telling him he's weird and all that crap. We sit and talk about stuff all the time, well we actually do it for each other as I have bi polar too and I get the lonely as I have moved around all my life because my hubs is in the forces. Unfortunately when you move so much you tend to lose buddies. I'm more than happy to lend a shoulder as I know the frustration and everything else that goes with depression. Have you been able to talk to your mum and dad about the way you have been feeling, I'm sure talking to them will help you.
I think that's enough babble take care and be safe.

I get how you feel... totally! am random and talk a lot... but I don't have a lot of "true friends"... just one. Sometimes that's all you need! But sometimes, what you need is alone time to mull over changing some aspect of your life... in fact, that's what I have been doing for the past year. When you go to college, there will be a whole new life! Lots of new friends and new experiences! Trust me, I am weird, but all of us are (and that's the truth). Anyways, there will always be someone there for you... don't hate yourself, there are people that value you (even if it doesn't feel like it), and would put their life on the line for you. Just be yourself and don't give up hope!

Young lady i do know how you feel i have been feeling it for a long time myself. You can not let yourself be afraid to meet people. You need to use that courage you have inside you and make it happen. Life is cruel at times but it only makes you better. You want friends but dont know how? Well the only way to get a friend is go out and find them. You will not be successful all the time but one or two make a world of difference. Don't wait for them to come to you. And besides going out somewhere will get your mind on otherthings beside being alone.

I feel the same to I am one of the most socially awkward people anyone will probably meet , I just freeze up or I say the most rediculous things because I don't know what else to say , I guess this is why I'm writing on here instead of talking to someone about it , I have a boyfriend but he doesn't really seem to listen he just gets angry with me for being stupid which makes me more upset.

even i feel to die...am alone nobody is der to share my feelings...i dn't know how to share...i feel that i dn,t have happy....i m in love with a guy who was loving me a lot,,but nw because of his family sake he is ready to leave me...he will ask me wat i can see in you , nt so fair looking,and your lean, financially nt so rich....words it is so hurts me a alot....

hi darkmood, i am depressed just like you, if you would like to talk i am open to talk, <br />
<br />
-mike

im so alone and betrayed , cause , there is this girl i like but she egnores me and it feels like my life is pointless and that if i was not here no one would notice

bazzachoice is right. As a young man I was very shy and wished to be the opposite. We are all different ............ different genes, different upbringings ........ thus you're unique, you are special. Don't look on the other side of the fence, be who you are and you'll be comfortable. Find a hobby and/or job which fits your personality and interests and a happy life will evolve. <br />
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Consider therapy for anxiety/depression. Consider a group as well, they work. Again, bazzachoice is right ................ YOU ARE WORTH IT ......... YOU ARE AMAZING.

Hang in there my dear you will make it. I have always struggled in social situations and now I'm 40. My 16 year old daughter is now struggling with her own self identity and social connections but she is getting through it. Try writing, even if you don't feel you can write. Poetry, a daily journal, short stories or observations. Whatever you feel like at the time or what you are comfortable with. Use technology to your advantage and try to seek poeple or groups you can connect with. You will be amazed how many people share your same feelings and experiences. Do what you have to do to take the first step knowing you are a wonderful humanbeing. It took me years to realise that I am a quiet, shy person and that is ok. Keep going you sound amazing to me.

I'm 32 & feeel the same. I am up now bawling my eyes out. I'm on my period. Think it has something to do with hormones. I want to be self destructive, to feel better. but i can't i have children. I think i would have killed myself by now if i didn't. I fel so alone. So blue. So sad. Depressed. I feel so mad & confused & i hate it. I feel like i can't talk to anyone. I feel like i'm a burden. I am a loner & weird i guess. I've had several miscarriages & after them i feel like this too. I was put on medication but obviously it's not helping too much.

I'm 32 & feeel the same. I am up now bawling my eyes out. I'm on my period. Think it has something to do with hormones. I want to be self destructive, to feel better. but i can't i have children. I think i would have killed myself by now if i didn't. I fel so alone. So blue. So sad. Depressed. I feel so mad & confused & i hate it. I feel like i can't talk to anyone. I feel like i'm a burden. I am a loner & weird i guess. I've had several miscarriages & after them i feel like this too. I was put on medication but obviously it's not helping too much.

omg i am look like u but a lil different

I have been alone and depressed for most of my high school years. So I kept to myself and I too wanted to get out of this life. But now that I am better I dont know how to be anything but alone. Its really sad and I understand how you feel completely.

I know how you feel :( You want to have someone or people in your life to go places with, make you laugh, be there for the good and the bad, but you have trouble forming bonds because you feel scared and you don't know why. I feel the same way, and it makes me feel like I boxed myself up, and no one knows but I how to get out of it.

OK I have not read the other comments. <br />
<br />
First thing I learned from feeling depressed is that. It IS nothing to do with others. <br />
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You have to make the choice to be happy, you cant dwell on the past. Every time you think of something that is negative, its almost always of the past. Keep telling your self every single day to stop thinking of the past. The past is the past. That was my first step.<br />
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Don't try or expect to be happy even with the support in a couple weeks. It makes it a little easier maybe, but no matter how much others COULD help you have to do it your self. <br />
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Take lots of little steps. It took me years to really get myself back in a positive place, and I live my life in fear of negative thoughts. So much that I just DONT LET myself get depressed. Its a big spiral you can fall. Got to stay on the ground.<br />
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Don't say I WISH, ONLY IF...<br />
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That's all I can say. I hope you can make the battle of becomeing happy. Just remember this. All the happy people in the world would be as lost as you are in your position. Every happy person in the world has to put some EFFORT into being Happy.<br />
<br />
Much Love - I know your situation is different. I'm just letting you know what I did to become happy and hope a little can help you.<br />
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Oh and other people, you may live with or not. You may EXPECT them as happy people to help you and see you though it. But IT IS hard for them to see you depressed. If it was easy and they new what you needed they would help you. <br />
<br />
Craig

I hate myself 4 disappointing my family, especially my kids. I feel like a bad parent and wife. I have NO friends. Im always doing for my family and nothing 4 myself. I self inflict, cuss myself out, want 2 die! I need help and dont know where 2 turn. Lost Dad in 2007. He was my backbone. I take sleeping meds at nite 2 sleep. I drink to take away da pain. I laugh when i feel like crying. I hide it well. Noone sees how im slowly breaking down. S.O.S.

I have depression, i can honestly say i know how you feel. It breaks my heart to read this, coming from a fourteen year old girl, ive felt suicidal, lonely, depressed, ive self harmed, cried and fainted in public, sat on my window ledge at times. I know how you feel, and it sucks. But you have to be strong! if not for yourself, for those who love you, because it would hurt them so badly if anything unfortunate happened, and so many people love you! Hugs and Kisses! xoxox <br />
<br />
IonaGrace.

I m 17 years old nd i love a girl who luv another guy who was my besty at a time. i ws very happy wen i talkd 2 her evryday abt 13 hrs.. bt nw its all ovr we dnt talk 13 mins also.... nd i feel so deprssd feel lyk killing myself........nd m thinkng abt suicide knwing dat it ll nt be right bt den also.........

I m 17 years old nd i love a girl who luv another guy who was my besty at a time. i ws very happy wen i talkd 2 her evryday abt 13 hrs.. bt nw its all ovr we dnt talk 13 mins also.... nd i feel so deprssd feel lyk killing myself........nd m thinkng abt suicide knwing dat it ll nt be right bt den also.........

I know wat you mean. I feel the same. I am 22 years old n i very depressed i have actually thought about cimmiting suicide but can't do it. I have 2 lovely children who i share custody with their dad. I feel ok when they're with me they cheer me up. But when im alone i feel like garbage i just wanna die! Its a horrible empty feeling

You seem to be better now, I doubt. I also tend to live my life within myself. When one asks what I'm doing, the answer is just staying at home. No one knows about my personal life, where I live and so one, and for some who I told don't bother to get it--well, no differences. <br />
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Surely it makes me depressed at night and day when I have no homework or work to do. I now then kind of living two lives at the same time. My school life and my life with no one. A friend said I was the one who never let anyone in. It's true! <br />
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The best way I found is to write it down, vent it out when you have no one you trust enough to listen. But don't lose faith. Once you found the one who can tear your wall down ;)