I Am So Alone and Depressed
I used to be a happy person but since i was 11..i started not to hang out with my friends. That's when i first got my period..i felt uncomfortable going out,i was really scared that i got my period,i even stopped studying just because of that. I know,it's pretty weird. But that's me..i'm a weirdo. Since then,i no longer have friends.
I'm really shy and quiet person since i was a kid..especially in school. I don't talk a lot. My classmates described me as shy,quiet and weird. I just stay at home,i don't know how to talk to people face to face,i tend to hide my true feelings,i'm NOT sociable..that's why i'm here cause i feel more comfortable expressing my feelings and thoughts.
I do really miss my childhood days,cause i used to play outside, having friends,playmates i was so happy and wasn't having problems. It's such a great childhood. And how i wish i could turn back the time.
My parents encourage me to go outside and find new friends,but i can't..i don't how. I have mixed feelings now,i'm lonely,depressed,angry and confused. I feel so alone,i always cry at night cause that's the only way i can let the sadness & pain out. I am so sick and tired of feeling like this. I wish i had someone who i can share my feelings with,who's a crying shoulder. But there's no one. I always want to scream but i can't. I sometimes feeling suicidal but i can't do it.
I am sooo depressed and i envy the people who have the opposite situation and i envy the people who have someone who's always be there for them.