Only Read This If You're Also Heart Broken

First of all, english isn't my native language but I'll try my best to make me clear. This is my first story and I'm realizing that I have lots of things to tell. How did I end up here? I 've just been let down by a really special girl. I'll try to be as brief as I can.

Why is she special? Well, it has been one year since I went to college (I lived with my 1 year-younger cousin). I moved out of my house excited about getting to know new people and having new experiences. Guess what? None of that **** happened. Worse, I got really depressed. Everyone, in my opinion, was really young and immature. I had nothing in common with them. I always like to overthink things and that was, I think, the main reason I got depressed. Though, this also makes me have lots of ideas on how to get happy.

Day after day, I kept trying to overcome this depression. ONE DAY, someone called me. Yes, you're right. It was her. We talked for about 3 hours and I was happy again! I couldn't believe it. The reason I lost communication with her, was because I accepted that she wasn't into me. The truth is, I wasn't much in love with her compared to other girls I was with. Don't get me started with all my past relationships or I'll get really frustrated.

Needless to say, we talked about 2/7 days a week (I think). Everything was going great until I came back to my hometown right after the semester ended (she also came back). I made a mini high school reunion in which she also went there. We had this habit (or at least I was the one who made it a habit) of walking all the way to her house after all these parties/reunions ended. Those were the best times. Why? Because she was often drunk and she was more open (I think). I bet she would be mad at me if she read this but still. We talked about anything and when I thought the time was right (which it clearly wasn't), I tried to make a move on her. That was when everything began to be awkward and it was time for me to say good bye and go.

To be sincere, I'm really getting tired of writing so much things because the only thing I want to do is to call her. Long story short, in one of those moves I made (which was trying to kiss her), made me doubt. She let me do it but she didn't do anything about it. Next day, I told her about everything that was happening in my mind and she, to be pithy, she made me think that she was a really weird person and that, again, she doesn't feel anything for me!

Sadly, I feel she is the only one I have. I sometimes strive to avoid in getting in awkward situations with her but I fail constantly. Yesterday, I was talking with her on Skype. We talked about me. She mentioned something that was really killing me. She said that, in contrast to others, i had a certain flaw. What she said about this flaw was that I had something in me that kept me from asking her super questions about her. I was a bit wasted and I was concentrated, as always, about her not being in love with me. That was the reason I jumped into stupid conclusions as always. That and my imminent defect of acting stupid when I get distracted. That always happens to me! I am speaking normally with someone and something happens to me that makes me think stupidly.

Anyway, I think she was really upset beacause I supposedy didn't notice her effort on talking with me (she was all alone sitting over this cold floor at some room which magically has the best connection to her wi-fi). She was mad, I sensed it. Today I connected to skype and started a stupid conversation as always about her saying good-bye in a cold way. She only replied with a "?". Then, I asked her out to go and buy some ice-cream because, as I said earlier, I love talking with her (bearing in mind the "pact" I made with myself about not getting into awkward situations). She answered with a ">>" face. For the hell of it (I didn't know what to say), In response I wrote a ":D" face. She automatically eliminated me from Skype, didn't answer my phone calls nor my text messages. I feel really sad. I couldn't believe it.

That was when I also remembered that I told her that in the first instance in which she made me feel bad, I would take advantage of it and get mad at her and disappear from her life. I've just realized I didn't mean that and that maybe this is one of the reasons she is ignoring me completely. I really miss her really much and I don't know what to do. I just keep crying and thinking what is the best thing to do. One thing that annoys me is that my lazyness prevents me from talking more about what I think of her. Maybe at another time I'll make a complete story about what I think of her and how awesome she is.

To all of you there that took their time to read this lousy story, I really would appreciate your opinions, comments or even grammar corrections. I feel really lonely now because the only person that makes me feel happy has left me...
LiquidSnake1x1 LiquidSnake1x1
18-21, M
1 Response Jan 10, 2013

i feel you sometimes that happens in life but we just cant be afraid of them we have to go for it not care what any body thinks dont let her get to you she willl soon relize that ur the one for her . :)