Lonely Loser

My name is Cade. I am a 17 year old loser. The reason I call myself a loser is because I went from being someone to no one.

It all started 4 years ago when my life was at its best and the world was so bright. I met my 2 best friends,kevin and Meagan. These 2 people were the coolest people I know and I loved them. Kevin was... well still is my brother. And Meagan was the sweetest and most beautiful girl I'd ever laid eyes upon. Infact I fell in love with Meagan but never had the nerve to tell her. Anyway 2 years down the road kevin and Meagan fell in love with each other which made me highly upset,however i hid it inside of me and moved on. When one day I'd met the girl of my dreams,kayla. Kayla and I were best friends throughout the last year of middle school and became very fond of each other. Then one day the school announced a prom. I worked up the nerve to ask kayla out and she said yes which made me feel like I was on top of the world. That night at the prom I told her how I felt as I held her in my arms during our dance and luckily the feelings were mutual. We then kissed and so began our relationship. 7 months of what I thought was happiness for us both passed by. Then she broke up with me for no reason. I mean we were in different high schools but we saw each other about 5 days a week so surely that couldn't be why. Anyway she dumped me and I had no one. Kevin and Meagan were too busy with each other. My other friends were all busy with their girlfriends so they were no help. I was alone with no one to talk to. So a depressed me desperately trying to take my mind off things decided to start gaming. I started by playing rpg games which all included romance stuff which reminded me of Kayla so i bought xbox live and began playing competitive games such as halo or call of duty which made me a shut in. Then last year I met a new couple of friends. Madison who i immediately had feelings for due to the things that we have in common. And patrick,my metalhead fellow guitar playing friend who I grew close to. But then the same thing happened like deja vu! Patrick and Madison started going out! For 9 months they were in love and I was once again that lonely loser in the background. I was nothing and I was prepared to live my life being alone though I didn't want to. But then luckily a few months ago patrick and Madison broke up. Devistated by the break up Madison came to me to console her which I did. I took her to the high school football games and even to the movies as friend dates. Then one day she found out by Meagan who was a mutual friend that I had feelings for Madison. Madison then sent me a text saying "Cade (my name) I think you are really sweet and a great person. But i just have the same feelings." I then replied "I understand. I hope this doesn't mess our friendship up. I really cherish it." She then replied "it won't :) but don't give up hope." Don't give up hope? What's that supposed to mean? Anyway a few months have passed and i have only had about 3 conversations with Madison. 3 with Patrick. 5 with Kevin. And none with Meagan. I'm where i was years ago. A lonely loser sitting in his house playing black ops on xbox and then going to school and work while everyone else is with their girlfriends or boyfriends goin to parties and movies and such. Pathetic on my part...
nobody1995 nobody1995
18-21, M
1 Response Jan 17, 2013

Hi Cade,I think you might benefit from widening your circle of friends so your meeting different people,new people and so your not stuck on the Xbox as much. Is there any clubs or interest groups etc that you could join in your area?. Where I live theres loads of things from community groups to sports clubs etc. You could even try volunteering.
When your meeting new people you will eventually find peple who you click with who you can build friendships up with.Dont discount people because they are too old or not your usual type of friend, be broadminded.
Also you dont know therealties of other peoples lives, they say they might be doing XYZ but you dont know.Also a person can be miserable in a crowd. In my opinion you cant put all your efforts into one friend or a couple of friends, you need to have a few, then if you get let down its no big deal as you have others for company. If you appear to be friendly and interested in others and ask them a lot about themselves and are kind you will have loads of people interested in you. You just need to make a bit of an effort in getting out there.

Thank you very much for your tips i really appreciate it. But the reason I can't really do anything about it is because I live in an extremely small town and sort of labled myself this way. However,I will be graduating this year and I'll be joining the army. Once I'm through basic training or maybe once I've served my first tour I plan on moving to a bigger place. And when I do move to a bigger city I will be able to start over and I will definitely take these tips into consideration. Once again thank you very much.