Anxiety Is Ruining My Life

I have an anxiety disorder with panic attacks and it's very hard for me to meet people and I'm constantly worrying about my health and every other aspect of my life.

Im worried my partner will find someone else while I'm living in another city and I'll end up alone forever.

I just realised today how desperately unhappy and depressed I am and I don't know what to do. I haven't told my partner I don't want them to worry so I put on a cheerful front on the phone but this is killing me.

If we didn't need the money so badly I would quit my job and move back home right now, but we are in so much debt and have a mortgage it's not an option.

I often think about harming myself, I don't think I would actually ever do it but the constant thoughts scare me and I feel as if I have lost all control and all hope.

I hate my job so much and I'm only there for the money.

I can't go out without having a panic attack or feeling anxious and having such an overwhelming feeling of sadness and feeling alone.

even as I'm writing this I'm crying like a baby I'm just lost
LukeJM LukeJM
36-40, M
4 Responses Jan 20, 2013

you might have copper poisoning.

I have anxiety every single day. I know how you feel.

Dear Luke, Get a sheet of paper and write down the positive's, Partner for one then the good things about your partner. your home the nice things in it, look inthe mirror what do you see ? are you handsome,/ do you have 2 eyes , 2 earsetc a lot of people don' may seem silly but believe me it does help! when you read it back it will make you smile1. before you go to bed each night put that days worry's in a imaginary box and throw it out of the window. Do this each night ,go to bed with an empty head . Gradually it will feel better but it takes time. you will get so engrossed in doing this you wont have time to worry, Believe me! Believe in yourself! email if you want to chat xx

i know how you are feeling Luke, been there, and i am there now, and how it upsets and kills someone when he has to PRETEND that everything is fine, but deep down it tears him apart!
i am reaching to a point where i cant really understand what's going on with me, i feel like i am getting nuts, which i am sure that i am not, but the thought of it hurts, my mind is in a constant state of alertness and thinking, never thought of hurting myself....
but i am always scared, scared of sleeping, everything is disturbing me, even silence...
lucky you, u cry, i am not even being able to cry...
something funny happened to me now, is that i sneezed, and i felt a releif from this brain pressure i am having...i dont know if as they say its all in our heads, maybe part of it is, but the circumstances and our actions are the other part...
i guess the thing is, we shold not give hard as it sounds, but we should not...and we think sometimes that we are alone in this, but we are not.
i was surprised to see how many people share similar feelings and emotions as i am...
i hope all will change for the best mate, and will remember you in my prayers.
praying is the only thing that is helping me recently...i am against taking any medicines, or even seeing a doctor...
God bless and good luck.
feel free to msg me.

good description! i feel the same