No One Else

Today I got in contact with two of my best friends. I completely isolated myself from everyone for long time now, I haven't seen them for almost 9 months or maybe a little bit less I am not sure..

It was nice seeing them again, I love these two girls and I know they love me otherwise they would have forgotten me when I got away for no reason for this long period of time... 

....But what's bothering me is that it is not like before, I still laughed and we were happy, we joked and everything, but why they feel the need to compete, brag and stuff like that? They weren't like this before, I could see where the difference is coming from, we were all at college doing the same thing, same major and we graduated all together, now everyone went different way and it depends on your personal efforts to make your way through, so they are like we are in a competition, trying to brag about what they have and trying somehow indirectly to make you feel less Idk why, I honestly don't feel like bragging about what I have done or I am doing even though I am very satisfied with myself and I think I am doing well, but I don't think that friends compete this way, it is not a nice feeling and it feels weird.

 I guess I am REALLY lonely, no best friends and no one else.
MissGaga MissGaga
26-30, F
2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

i have friends like yours .. sometimes i feel that i want to scream : " COMMON GIRLS !!!! JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELVES AND HOW WONDERFUL YOU ARE !! "

First , i was so upset .. but recently I start thinking that this is one-sided friendship .. i am their friend but they are not mine any more !! .. and how could i consider them my friends , and they are treating themselves as Gods ? how could i talk to them about my fear , my failure , my foolishness ,, while they don't stop making comparisons between us ?!!

I know how this feeling hurts :((

Maybe they were a bit uncomfortable with the situation. It's tough being lonely, but it's better not to betray yourself and become someone you don't like. Hopefully you'll find nice people you like, in the meantime keeping in touch with these somewhat estranged friends might be good still.

It is mostly one of my friends who ALWAYS does this, not only in this situation, Idk why she always acts as if we are in a competition, I still like her though but that annoys me so much....

Idk about finding friends... I feel staying alone is way easier, honest speaking.