Feeling Hopeless and Lonely

.......so where do I start? well.. I am 19.

My mother was abusive.. she praises my brother.. I'm considered the failure and the fat one in my family. I searched for love through men but they've always been a let down. In fact the amplified my loneliness and depression. Was never the popular kid in school..I was invisible to everyone and still am. I'm so desperate for love. I have so much to give and crave for comfort and support but I can't find it anywhere. The few friends that I have aren't very close to me, though we go out occasionally. I just really really wish that I will meet my other half soon.. Every man I've dated was never serious or could understand my depression and need for constant comfort.. I'm clingy and I lack self confidence. My depression has been eating my life away for the past 5 years.. gradually I've created a bingeing disorder and now I find it so difficult to stop stuffing food into my face whenever i'd get bored or lonely..I abuse myself with food to avoid the pain of loneliness..instead i feel sick and tired. I just want a hug :'( and someone to comfort me IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

DreamingAway DreamingAway
18-21
4 Responses Mar 2, 2009

Ok a couple of things - the others above have summed it up pretty well so i will just add to that:<br />
<br />
- Get out and start jogging you can buy a Swiss Ball for like $10 and you can learn exercises from YouTube - not only is exercise proven to improve your mood - you will be healthier and more happy with your body. Eat as much as you want as long as its healthy natural food. So wholemeal breads, lean meat, fruit, veg and cheese. <br />
<br />
- Get interested in Life again - not just men - take a class - start a hobby - learn to play a sport - read some great new books.<br />
<br />
- Next - is there Anyone you can confide in? Maybe an Aunt or one of those mates you don't think cares - you might be surprised at the support you get when you tell someone all of this. You might find you are not alone. If you don't have anybody maybe see a counsellor for that support.<br />
<br />
- Last - I know it is possible that you don't actually have anyone caring and supportive around to help you - but you really must support yourself for now so that you can be in a position where you are happy and just naturally make friends etc - Now is definitely not the time to be looking for a love interest - girls with low self esteem do often end up in unhealthy relationships which continue the depressive cycle.<br />
<br />
Hope that helps :)

I am pushing 50 years old and one thing I can tell you with all certainty is that you have to be comfortable with yourself, you have to like yourself, make peace with who you are and life gets much easier.<br />
<br />
Having another person in your life will not improve things one bit if you don't like who you are.<br />
<br />
It is hard to sit and self-analyze your flaws and faults but once you do that and start making steps to improve whatever flaws or faults YOU find, you will find the real you.<br />
<br />
Saying that mom always liked another sibling more, your "fat", not pretty, abused, etc. using these excuses for whatever goes wrong in your life is a cop out. You cannot live in the past.... that is old history, you CAN move forward and change.<br />
<br />
If you need counseling go get it and start working on fixing you. Once you feel better about who you are others will flock to you.

Thank you! You girls are so sweet :) I'm so glad i found e.p! <br />
I feel better already :D

Wow this is totally ironic. I was reading some of the stories in I am lonely category. I cant seem to find anyone who shares my feelings. When i saw Im lonely I dont mean someone left me and I dont no anyone. I mean I am lonely inside and I know exactly how you feel. I have always been the fat one in my family and I have an older sisiter who is praised ofr being skinny. I cant believe I cam across this story because its like looking in the mirror. If you ever want to talk I am here,.