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I Were!!!

This doesn't apply to me much anymore. It's hard to be lonely with so many people to chat with on here now. =p

But yes... 99% of my depression in the past was due to isolation and loneliness. It was due to my social anxiety, or the end result of it. I didn't have any friends, online or offline. I was totally alone, with just my video games and books I've read over and over. I was stuck indoors, for years at a time.... Funny, I remember how afraid I was, when I finally had to leave the house, after staying in it for three years straight! I had gotten so very sick and had to be rushed to the hospital. The paramedics were trying to encourage me that it was okay, to come with them, and sit on the gurney... All I could think about was getting back inside the house! :-o

But, finally... slowly.... I began to get out more. I only leave the house twice a week now, but that's real progress! And I don't plan to just stop there. ;-)

Anyhoo... I am a very sociable person, despite my anxiety. So, it's been a monster of a thing, like a weight dragging me underwater. I wish to be free of it! But in the past, because of my fear of social situations and tough times with panic attacks, I became very isolated. And in that isolation, I was chronically lonely. The more lonely I felt, the more depressed I got! So in the years alone, I became dangerously depressed and suicidal. :-/

Well, I broke free of that, finally! Some medication and therapy. And then I found people on this site to interact with. And now I tend to move forward. I try not to be so isolated again... because that could easily send me back to that dark place. I don't do "lonely" very well. =p

deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Jun 18, 2009

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I'm so happy for you!! Just because someone is an "internet friend" doesn't make them any less real, and I think it's important for lonely people to realize that. But I feel the exact same way you did right now -- I want very much to be social but the social anxiety is making it hard. It's especially difficult during breaks from school. I'm just trying to take advantage of the free time I have to watch movies and read books and stuff, but when school starts again I'm going to take a page from your book and try to slowly get over my anxiety. Congrats again, and thanks for being inspiring! : )

**** u go kil urself

You have made great progress already<br />
Good luck just remember NEVER GIVE UP<br />
<br />
Im rooting for you.

I envy you, i also just go to college, sit at the library at lunch times, come home, play video games and again the same thing over and over, i used to have a best friend but he moved away (far away) and after that day i was very insociable, lonely, i had to drop sports because i now have no one to play with, i just feel like sorrow is following me n ruining everything good happens to me, to top it off i m not so brilliant when it comes to education, i procastinate a lot, i m a shy and friendly guy but everyone shows no interest in me and yeah so basically i stay in my room all my life, i feel happy for you though, i just wish that one day people will come and socialise with me properly and accept me as a real friend :(

I envy you, i also just go to college, sit at the library at lunch times, come home, play video games and again the same thing over and over, i used to have a best friend but he moved away (far away) and after that day i was very insociable, lonely, i had to drop sports because i now have no one to play with, i just feel like sorrow is following me n ruining everything good happens to me, to top it off i m not so brilliant when it comes to education, i procastinate a lot, i m a shy and friendly guy but everyone shows no interest in me and yeah so basically i stay in my room all my life, i feel happy for you though, i just wish that one day people will come and socialise with me properly and accept me as a real friend :(

I am so happy for you! Keep going and getting better. You're gonna shed that cocoon and be the beautiful social butterfly you've always wanted to be- in your own way. :)

I love this!! Good for you! I'm happy for you I really am...

I feel for you and I'm glad your so optimistic and determined! You're very strong! Do you mind if I ask how you work and support yourself??

Glad you're getting over it, Shadow. I know it can be a real downer form personal experience.<br />
((((Hugs)))