Why Am I Still Sad?

I was madly and totally and foreverly in love with my long time best friend. He was in love with his long time girlfriend. He left her for me. He left me for her. The entire time he was with me he was with her also. It's safe to say he was my first love. I also believed that he would be my only love. I'm still worried that he's the person i'm supposed to be with but now they're going to be married and i'm going to have to live with it. The thing is... i don't hate them. i'm not mad. i'm happy that they're happy even tho i'm very sad. I pray for them every night before i go to bed. it hurts still. it's been so long. sure, i want them to be happy. but i want me to be happy. i just don't know how anymore. I'll always love him and i'll always be jealous of her. it would be different if he wasn't the perfect guy for me. if he wasn't the one who completed me. if he wasn't the one person in the world who crushed me. I'll be alright.   just alright.

yesitsjess1009 yesitsjess1009
18-21, F
4 Responses Jan 11, 2010

The truth is there are lots of people who can be 'the one'. The fact that he was in love with 2 women proves this. We people are not as unique and different from each other as we think we are. In reality though, on a practical level, we only have time and emotional energy to really give one person and one relationship what it deserves. Obviously for some time this guy wasn't mature enough to realise that despite loving you both - he has to choose - as he cannot possibly make you both happy. Now that he has chosen - you must move on with your life. Don't wait in hope he will come back to you. Would you really want to be in the other woman's shoes anyway - always knowing he loved someone else and feeling grateful all the time he chose you?? No way!<br />
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On a more positive note - YOU WILL find love again - but love yourself enough to only accept healthy relationships where you feel special and cared for. <br />
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SamNZ says that your soul mate will finish your sentences and think all the same things as you - but I don't think that's quite true - your perfect partner will probably have opinions of their own and will sometimes not know how you are feeling unless you tell them (that's men sometimes) - but the right partner will be a person of good character who has your best interests at heart. They will encourage you to reach your full potential and will always try to work through any problems positively and constructively because they value the relationship. Jelousy, control, isolating you from friends and family or putting all ones needs onto another person - that's not healthy or love. Hope that helps you identify the real thing from the wrong thing next time :)<br />
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Good Luck xox

SamNX Thank you. I actually did answer yes to the questions. My friend recently told me that he'd like to introduce me to his brother. I think i'll jump into this one. I usually decline. :)

thanks, :)

There are around 3,248,080,000 males on the planet and around 3,214,983,000 females. That translates to men accounting for 50.25% of the population.<br />
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so the males are 1.o1 more than females. You're lucky because eventhough you may not be with him there are still 3,248,079,999 other males in the world and im very sure atleast 1,000,000 will be able to love you more than life itself you just have to keep looking