Why Am I Still Sad?
I was madly and totally and foreverly in love with my long time best friend. He was in love with his long time girlfriend. He left her for me. He left me for her. The entire time he was with me he was with her also. It's safe to say he was my first love. I also believed that he would be my only love. I'm still worried that he's the person i'm supposed to be with but now they're going to be married and i'm going to have to live with it. The thing is... i don't hate them. i'm not mad. i'm happy that they're happy even tho i'm very sad. I pray for them every night before i go to bed. it hurts still. it's been so long. sure, i want them to be happy. but i want me to be happy. i just don't know how anymore. I'll always love him and i'll always be jealous of her. it would be different if he wasn't the perfect guy for me. if he wasn't the one who completed me. if he wasn't the one person in the world who crushed me. I'll be alright. just alright.