I hate my life and most importantly, I hate myself. If I didnt believe in GOD, I'd kill myself. But since I do believe in him, I'm terrified of hell, so i'm stuck being miserable on this earth till I die. It started with a step father who raised me (if thats what you call it) since I was 2. He was one of them guys who threatened to kick my *** whenever I did something wrong. What made it worse was, not only was he always bigger then me, but he was an amerature boxer, so he knew how to fight. I was called every name in the book growing up. To him, i was just a ***** because I couldnt fight.
After 18 years of that bullshit, I started to hate everyone. I became ultra sensative. On my 18th birthday, I enlisted in the marine corps just to get away. But when I got out, I had to move back in. But of course, he kicked me out a few months later cause he said I was a man and I shouldnt live at home.
This has turned me into a hateful bitter man, and as a result, I dont have any friends, and no girlfriend. I'm permanently ****** up, and I wish I could just die. I am so lonely, I have nobody to talk to, nobody to cry on, its just me, myself and I until death.
The worst part of it, due to economic times, I have had to live at home again becasue I cant afford my own place. So now i'm 30 and living with mom and dad. This usually keeps the girls away. Girls dont want a 30 year old who lives at home.