Lonely With People All Around Me....

I just left my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and ran to my mom's house. My family loves me and I have a few friends that have been around to talk to me. But i don't have anyone I feel comfortable talking to about my feelings. This is because I am still in love with the man I left, the man who abused me. Everyday I think about him and even though people have told me not to talk to him again. I find to stay away. I called him and talk to him whenever I can. He tells me he wants us to still be together but I think he just wants my money. I was supposed to send him money last week and when I instead paid some important bills he raged. He said he would come and kill me even though he lives several states away and screamed and screamed because he said he was relying on that money to pay his bills. Then just as quickly he was back to being sweet. Now he wants my tax return money. I am worried if I cut off all contact and dont send him the money he will come and hurt me or my family. But also, like an idiot I still care for him because I remember all the good times we had. I know he is not sane. But when he isn't being cruel he is a wonderful person. It is like I am in love with one person that is attached to an evil twin. My mind says stay away and my heart is breaking inside. I am sorry to vent about this. But I have been so depressed since I am surrounded by people but still have no one who can truly understand me and I am lonely. Thanks for listening...

Brokenkajira Brokenkajira
31-35, F
4 Responses Feb 26, 2010

u need to get away from someone like that,he is useing u for money.get a restraining order ,he is using u to get what he wants,when so many guys will love u for who u are

Don't apologize for sharing your story, that's what this is here for. That sounds like an incredibly scary situation, is he like bipolar or something? It can be hard to leave any relationship, and abusive relationships are just harder to leave because you're worried about your safety. I think the important thing is that you are beginning to get out of it, I don't know if I believe that abusive relationships can ever really change to be honest. Maybe? But I don't want to say that because that's really overly optimistic. I hope you don't feel bad about paying your bills, what makes his bills more important than yours? Absolutely nothing.

Keep cutting that ***** off. It may mean your death. Get your brothers around you. For real, quit ******* around..

X-lovers are like drug addition, it take a long, long, long time to rid of the addition of love. Once you meet anothering loving person, let him deal with the x-lover, if he wants. That is what friends do for friends, asking where to bury the body (figuratively speaking).