How Does One Get To This Point

How does one get to be my age, yet not have friends, not have strong connections, not have the rich past that all those around seems to posesses. Where their lives intertwine with the lives of so many others, family, friends, lovers, reaching all the way back to childhood... I have only emptiness, a rootless existence, unachored, unteathered by human bond.

Where others have the warmth of human companionship, the sense of closeness, the binding ties of friendship, and love... I have... nothing.

How does this happen... how did I get through so many years without impacting the life of another human being? What human element am I missing that puts me so far outside the bounds of the norms, that has made my existence so profoundly, so completely empty, and alone?

How do I cope with the utter lack of meaning that such isolation creates.... where can I possibly go from here?

thisspaceletftblank thisspaceletftblank
36-40, M
4 Responses Apr 16, 2010

I feel you, I know that you feel like others can't understand. I know that 'cause they are different, they have lives, they love, hurt, heal, fight, loose, win... and it seems like all we've ever done is failing and failing some more... These issues have to be spiritual. They HAVE to be. We even say that our "spirit is down".<br />
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I know that you probably feel like you just want to live and experience the life, but it's like you're a slave to these chains that fear has put you in and you can't move even an inch. And the greatest pain is that you have the wish of flying freely, and you can appreciate the beauty but those chains just won't let you.<br />
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Who and what has put us in these chains, why can't we beat our fears? If we find the answers to these questions we might have a shot at life. Don't fear, you have the potential, and the beauty and this is not your fault. It's none of our faults.<br />
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(sorry for bad english) courage to you, and blessed be forever.

good question. clearly you are an articulate, sensitive and intelligent person. i think most people would like to have such a friend. donĀ“t give up. keep trying. offer your considerable gifts to others, listen and you will connect. take care

you see people dont understand i am 44 suffer from depression and often feel alone and when i look at my life i sometimes feel that i have not got anything going for me what helps me is keeping busy and just not thinking abot things to much but saying that i do know how you feel and how hard it is to cope but im afraid the worlds got faster and more and more people just dont seem to care or have not got the time you might think this a stupid thing to say buy you will always have friends here and i think that you could also do with more confidence in yourself

well i hear facebook helps...imvu runescape alll that or u can try really putting your shelf outta their