Does He Love Me Or Does He Not?

Yes he loves me that way that he will go walk 3 miles to a store to get groceries in the cold. Yes he has been through a lot of my **** and still stuck around. And yes he has sex with me and tells me he loves me at night.

But he doesn't make me feel like he does at times. I have been through a lot with him. If I'm not a prefect house wife or if I am on my phone a lot entertaining myself I am not good enough. I am made to believe that if I don't cook, clean and stay stuck up his *** bored as hell while he works or doesn't work than I am not fitting of a wife. He has even said that I am supposed to do these things. If I don't he gets angry and tired of ring with me. He looks to ex girlfriends and other women. Then when I do it in retaliation, validation and loneliness I am a home-wrecker and wrong. Our relationship started great. But over the years if marriage I just haven't felt good enough for him. I love him I really do. I tell him constantly how much I do. I tell him how handsome he is and compliment his entire body. I make it known that he is a sexy beast and he is. He gets women telling him that often and has always been cocky about it. But he gets pissed if down one compliments me and not him. He gets jealous as then has be compliment me or say that I am all his. That's the only time I get a damned compliment from him. He says I love you at night before bed or when he leaves but it seems mumbled and just done out of practice. There is no passion to it. An I delusional? Am I asking for too much and there isn't even a problem? Is it just hard for him to show it or is that just an excuse. He can talk for hours about how other women on tv or what ever are gorgeous but never me. Sure there are a few compliments here or there. But he always says that I am not meant to be as big as I am and that I could look like these girls we think are beautiful if I was skinny. He says he compliments me all of the time but he doesn't and he swears that he loves me and thinks that I am beautiful or else he wouldn't be with me. It seems as if we don't actually talk that much or do anything really. But that's really to blame on ya being in a different sate for a while. Once we go back to Georgia I know it will be like before. He will go off for entire weekends to fish and play beer long with his pals while I am left alone. He has Ben left me for a week to go to Vegas with his buds. I left him and told him he needed to act better. I took him back and then I ended up doing wrong. I flirted with someone because they gave me what I was looking for. A sexy man to find me sexy and make me know that I was. That's over now and we are working trough our issues somewhat. I just hate that I am always left craving that reassurance that I am physically appealing to him. That I am wanted and needed. That I am his one and only. That I am gorgeous. I don't feel that I am at all.
JessRuthless JessRuthless
26-30, F
2 Responses Nov 29, 2012

Not delusional at all in the slightest bit. People find new things about others at times, or one person discovers or changes orientations even......just happens to somes = Had a friend that hubby was more attached to a video game then his own wife for the longest time....once she dressed up in a nighty and knickers and asked him to head to ed but he didn't even Looook her way to take the hint. ....hope things get better or find a more definite answer about things sooner rather then later :(

That's why I am asexual. Marriage sucks. People enter into marriage thinking they will always be in love, the mind however has this mechanic it follows. It is called homeostasis. It is a kind of elasticity that pulls us back to the center. If we get sad we don't stay that way forever because it pulls us back. If we get happy we don't stay that way because it pulls us back. This dynamic is always present in all we do to some degree, its how the time heals our wounds and perhaps ultimately its for our benefit. We don't always stay in love. I have heard legends of people staying IN LOVE forever but... they are just legends to me. I am not one to give advice on love, that is certain. There is nothing wrong with you other than the fact your human. And he should be a better man and sensitive to your needs, he should know what you need as a woman to make you feel complete. But hes human to. Eventually all marriages settle down and people just "accept the fact" but if your not happy then you need to learn to follow your bliss again while your young. You should never be afraid of being happy.