Maybe It Shows

I do get upset easily. I don't like that fact but in all honesty there is nothing I can do to change it. Now I am just sick and tired of putting up with it, knowing its only a matter of time before I break. I don't know what will happen if that break happens it could mean doing something I've done before or maybe worse or maybe even nothing but I just can't cope with being put down every single moment of my life. It used to be just a few people maybe once in a blue moon but now its feels like everyone in the world including my family. I know I'm exaggerating but its honestly how I feel. I don't mean to be a burden to anyone but, maybe its paranoia, I always feel like everyone hates me. I sound really selfish but I loathe my life sometimes. I know people have it way worse than me and I'm not trying to say anything like that but I don't know any different so to me I always think it can't get any worse. I just feel so low and so deflated and just awful. Maybe its depression, maybe its not, whatever it is I don't want to talk to anyone 'professional' because they'll just judge me and say I'm crazy and then give me pills. I know it sounds bad but sometimes I like feeling like this, I have no clue why I just know that sometimes I like it. Re-reading that its sounds awful but its how I feel and I really hope I can't help that otherwise I'm seriously messed up.
sophiehastings sophiehastings
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 27, 2012

You have no reason to feel 'messed up'. Different people, experience and see things in different ways. And depression is a real illness, I suggest you speak to someone aboutt it, Ur school guidence counseller, a friend etc. Sometimes there are depression tests online.

I'm going through therapy now to try and help, thanks