How Can It Get So Bad

How can depression get so bad to the point of not wanting to put up with life anymore I look around and see that everyone is smiling and having fun but why can't that be me I have to walk around with this fake smile on my face or the look that I am getting ready to cry I wander many times will I ever be happy again I have and still am taking anti depressents but all i FEEL LIKE DOING IS STAYING IN BED OR DIEING this is not how I want things to work.

I don't really talk to anyone this is really the only way I can communicate with people see it started when I was a little kid I never had anyone there to listen to I was the youngest out three other's kids see I had two brothers and a sister and of course they had more attention then I ever did when ever they were all upset and crying my parents were always running to them I always got blamed for things they did even when I got sexually assulted it was still my fault

I always thought about suicide I made a few attempts in the past but still have those thoughts more then ever and wandering how can I get past all of this all of you going through depression just remember to keep your head up high and that there are alot of obstacles in life but don't let it stop you if one gets in your way find away around it and don't let it stop you one day your alive your life will get better even if it doesn't feel like it but it can't do it by it self it needs help defeating whats holding you back from living your life the way you want to live it there are many ways around obstacles you just have to find one that works for you i know thats easier said then done but don't give up hope and get right back up there and do it again and its just like falling off a horse If you fall off a horse then just get right back up there and try again even if you scared cuz when your scared you got to overcome it and dont let it get you down
Tinker100 Tinker100
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 20, 2010

You need to talk to the doctor that put you on those meds. Maybe you are not on them long enough or maybe they are no the right meds for you. It takes time and patients to find the right combination of help, meds, doctors, and support groups that works for you. It is not easy, but find hope in knowing that today, more so than in years past, there are very many options for you. Medicine and psychology has come a long way. Talk to your doctor, or find another doctor, until you find one who helps you feel better.