I Get So Down I Have Hurt Myself

I have hit myself over the head with things and I have punished myself- the best way I do it is overeating. I am overweight now. part of me just says- so what if a guy likes me for me - he won't care and maybe we can loose weight together.

I am afraid to look too pretty incase people bash me or do abusive things to me or talk about me- like I have gone through in the past. I want a man who is a real guy and not full of bs.

I am depressed about my life and I am not happy, not proud of anything. I have been rejected all my life.

I am sick of people making fun of serious stuff about me- like the child abuse, and the loses I have gone thru.

part of me doesn't care if nothing changes either- this is what I am used to- I am addicted to sadness.
my sister is always fighting with someone here and anywhere she goes. that gets me down. I worry about my cats health all the time and my own- I get such pain at times and I just have to live with it.
czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
36-40, F
Aug 7, 2010