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They Dont Know

No-one knows except my dr. Ive pretty well distanced myself from friends and family. Hid it from work, but feel its showing now. Depression comes in waves and then the cutting starts. I just cant open up. They dont know me.
bundyup bundyup 51-55, M 3 Responses Oct 29, 2012

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While reading your story There are no words to tell u how I feel...I myself feel the same way.....I am very depressed and all alone too....I have no one in my life so if u ever need a friend I am always here...I have so much more to say but I would rather if we talked about it between u and I..............

I'll first say that I have never been depressed myself but up until recently I had been in a 4 yr relationship with a great guy that unfortunately suffered from depression & suicidal thoughts. I ultimately had to break up with him as I truly had to save myself. He was verbally abusive and the past year has been an emotional roller coaster. Many times I've repaired his self esteem and there's been times where I've talked him back from harming himself. It was tough on me. He was always putting himself down & eventually he was putting me down a lot too. While we dated, I didn't tell anyone what was going on with him because I knew he would be ashamed & angry if it got out. He hid what was going on well from family & friends. After I broke up with him, I contacted him family as he had recently confided in me that he was once again suicidal. They didn't believe me as he acts as though he's o.k. around them. Please don't hide what you're feeling from your loved ones & friends as they deserve to know. I recently had a high school classmate that I graduated with commit suicide. On the outside he was seemingly happy to all those who were close to him & no one suspected a thing. Please tell others what's going on as people love and care about you, they would want to know.

Thank you. That was something really courageous that you tried to support your boyfriend. Im sorry that he didnt appreciate all you went through because of him. You have real qualities for someone your age. Thankfully Im not the same. I keep my depression and punishment to myself. I wont be a burden to anyone. Please take good care of yourself and I wish you peace and happiness.

Sending warm thoughts your way.

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I read your stories. Im sorry things havent been all you wanted but you show good strength. I wish you all the best and take care of yourself.