The scariest thing is that I've gotten soooo damn good and pretending that some days I don't even realize just how sad I am. I had to force myself to smile because I was sick of people asking me what was wrong. I often felt that people were thinking omg, she's STILL sad. Nobody understands....
JnyJny JnyJny
26-30, F
2 Responses Aug 20, 2014

I understand I know exactly what you are talking about. I convince myself every day that I'm going to be fine, then I walk around and smile and say I'm doing great. I don't even notice that I'm doing sometimes. Recently my best friend (who I tell everything to) asked me how my day was going. I looked at her and flashed one of my big Maddie smiles and said "good! u?" I didn't notice till later that that was probably the biggest lie I'd ever told her. I had been having a **** day: My period had started, my alarm hadn't gone off, I'd missed the bus, I'd forgotten to do my math and Spanish hw, my other friend's dad was in the hospital, and some other crap. Yet I'd said I was great without a second thought. Part of the reason I trained myself that way is because I was so annoyed by my friends and family constantly asking if I was ok, and not believing me when e said yes. I get what you mean seriously I do. It sucks.

Ik how that feels i do that everyday and no one understands me either and if u want to talk i am here to listen.