Why Wont The Thunder Cloud Hanging Over My Head Go Away?

First i marry the worst person i could get my hands on
but, i have a beautiful daughter
i raise her alone
she's my heart
she gets hit and killed by a car at age 18 four days before HS grad

then i get married to my pillar of strength
then he takes some medicine and has a bad reaction
he loses his really good job
now 1/2 yr later, he can stay at his job for less pay

to top it off
he has a daughter
that has brought out the worst in me
made me say bad things
and i feel guilty because of my daughter

i cant help it
i hate the kid
and she might be coming back to live with us
i cant do it
i am afraid now i will lose my marriage
i cant live with the kid

i dont know what to do
she is going to kill my husband
she is so bad
i feel sorry for her, she is sick too, not totally her fault
but she is a coniving, lying *****
wonderful angel at school
devil at home
and she admits it

she pushes every button you ever had on your back
and then some

what would u do?
shes not welcome where we live anymore either
cause of the disturbance she causes
should i move out with hubby if she comes home for good?

she beeen living with her mom
hubby has custody for 13 years

i am so depressed
i am shaking inside

i just cant do it anymore
its just too much

thanks for listening all of you.  i needed to vent
i am really not a selfish person, but sometimes someone
crosses a line they just cant come back from...
because i am making myself sick
and losing my daughter the way i did
and now losing this one before i even had her

again thanks
iamstillrighthere iamstillrighthere
51-55, F
1 Response Jul 12, 2010

I think you have been blesssed with a second chance to have a daughter. She may be reacting to negativity that she feels coming from you. A kid from a split up family can feel very unwanted and unloved, and act out because of it. If she can be an angel in school, then she has the capabiity to fit in. If you can make her feel wanted and needed and loved, her attitude might turn around. <br />
<br />
I lost a son 15 years ago. I know the hole that leaves. It never goes away. This girl lost her family and that is going to leave a hole in her that will never go away. You two have a lot in common.