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Control.

When time starts to slip past you as if nothing can slow its passing,
When your mind races without ceasing for what seems like days,
And each new frame pulls you deeper and deeper down,
When all you have are your precious few comforts, and even those have
their definite double edges,
When you get stuck in your head, with only memories, regrets, and what ifs…

Thats the moment when you must take control.

You must hold on to any glimpse of beauty simply to remember what it looks like.
You take in the brief waves of happiness, just so you’ll never forget.
Only you can truly know what it is you need to move on, but if you don’t allow yourself to step away from the situation you’re gonna get buried and the way out will slowly slip further and further away.

Closure, happiness, whatever it is you seek, will not ever be in your grasp unless you allow it to. Walls are put up, rules are set, all in an attempt to continue on this journey.
It may work for a while, but unless you truly forgive eventually that all too familiar darkness will swoop in and knock you off your feet. Sometimes, the things people do are so completely unfathomable, so utterly unforgivable, that the only way out of the darkness of hatred and anger and into the light of happiness is to forgive yourself for putting yourself in the position in the first place.

I guess the point is, that while I don’t believe memories should be forgotten I think most people look at them the wrong way.
Instead of looking back on those beautiful moments with nostalgia and longing, look back with a smile and remember just the person those moments shaped you into.
Instead of trying to find that same feeling again, you must stumble upon a new, but equally incredible feeling. Comparisons never work out. Every person on this earth is different, therefore every second/day/month/year you spend with someone is going to be an opportunity to experience something new.

I’ve been to the bottom of my mind, scraped every last ounce of hatred, anger, self-pity, and loss from the floor of my heart. And all it ever did was continue the vicious cycle. Happiness like I’d never known would suddenly materialize in the parts of my heart and soul I hadn’t felt warmth in for as long as I could remember. But none of those moments, no matter how long they lasted, truly stuck because I had to learn how to forgive myself, and consequently the people who hurt me’s apologies were deemed unnecessary. No longer did I require their admission, I had forgiven them even before they asked.

It kills me to think that truly incredible, beautiful people are still so stuck in their own minds, that their happiness is just barely out of grasp. When in reality, all it would take is a good objective look in the mirror, along with a healthy dose of perspective to realize that yes, they feel pain, but they will survive. They will grow from this. And they will make all their dreams come true, just maybe on a different road and with new adventures than they originally saw.

MsPliability MsPliability 22-25, F Oct 12, 2011

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