Life As We Know It, Or Do We??

people have different perceptions of other people.

for instance, to a lot of people that meet me they will think that i am a normal moody teenager, but copes with any thing you throw at her.

but to the close friends i have and wen i am alone, i am the loneliest person around. i cry myself to sleep, if i do sleep. i get angry at lil things that shouldnt even bother me. if things get really bad i hurt my friends and myself.

 i want people to understand that there is nothing i can do, i have been through everything in my life. family death, my own death from a doctors mistake, bullying, being bullied, and now i am left to be this shrivelled heap that cannot bear to get out of bed in the morning, and if i do get out i feel sick.

i dont tell people all of this because i dont like the look of pity in strangers eyes, and that is all they are to me, strangers. they know nothing about my life so how can i call them friends?? my parents know nothing of this so how can i call them parents??

lilhellbunny lilhellbunny
22-25, F
11 Responses Nov 27, 2006

thanks for that devyn, its been such a hard road since i posted this but i am in such a better place. i have managed to turn my life around, and although i have plenty of bad days i am doing so much better now. i did manage to get help through a psychiatrist and now i try not too look back but just forward. there is a future in life and im going to grab it!

It's hard for people to step into our shoes huh? But what if they did they'd probably have an hole new respect for how hard your life is. People are naturally self centered because they can't look outside their reality they are the center of their own life. Buddhism can change that but I wont go in to it. I just hope you don't fight it, try enjoying being in your bed and when you want get up. Don't make every step painful remember what the good moments felt like to? Try and let go of your past the bullying, the family deaths, when you died in the hospital holding on to those memories are painful. Every time they come up it's like a part of you relieves them and it hurts. Good luck out there!!!

it's a struggle for me to get out of bed anymore, it takes a few hours of persausion for me to get up and dressed, but then i just sit in the chair wising to be back in bed so i can hide from the world. i was bullied a lot in school, but at least people noticed me enough to bully me, at uni these days people dont even notice i exist, which was finally my breaking point.

Thats exactly how I feel ! If you need anybody to talk to, go ahead and message me!

parents really dont understand at all theres no point just try to keep goin if u can

parents really dont understand at all theres no point just try to keep goin if u can

get over it life is hard, and ****** at times but being depressed wont do **** for u,how about getting up going out , take a breath of fresh air,talking to people more so then can try to understand u and u can call them ur frens and parents, being depressed wont help u.i may not knoow ur life story or what it is to be u, but i know mine and a bit of how u feel,but once i forced my self out that bed found something worth doing,found ppl that make me happy,and fix up myself, i felt much better, i use to ask y me, now i say ***** try me.nothing nor noone will break me.

What is normal? Everyone goes threw this life with bumps and many of them,lol. Some just look like they have no problems,but we all do. Its part of life.

ive posted a bit about the **** ive bin through on here before an at the moment my head is not in the right place to go through thinkin bout that again. u can find out through lookin at my other stories about phobias of medicine.

I agree with lilhellbunny in that no two people see things the same. Atmore may I suggest a warm blood transfusion for the icecycles in your veins!

No pity here. I come here to post my own stuff, read other people's stuff and comment, so that's it. Do you think you might post details of the things you have written about so far, like how a Dr.s mistake caused your death? That's pretty strong stuff. Your profile lists your occupation as a bar maid. What is it like to put up with the crap of strangers and regulars, and be so down while doing it? I'm being nosey, but I'm curious, so I'm asking.