Too Much To Take

My father had a brain tumor and had to have surgery to have it removed in january there were complications and a bumpy recovery. This has been very difficult on all of my family and my university work has suffered. I am in my first year of university.  I missed a dealine which made me feel crummy but I have applied for mitigating circumstances and have done the work, finished it and handed it in. I have done all of my uni work now but I am anxious about how well I have done, I'm certain I have passed but don't know how well. My father has since come back home and is recovering well although he seems to be suffering from acquired learning difficulties.

My friends and I were planning a trip to France for 4 days after our exams. I told my mother she responded by guilt tripping me. She says how can I think of going on holiday when we are having money problems. I have given her over a £1000, I don't get that much from my student finance and have contributed by buying groceries. Some more money has come through and my mum wants me to use it to buy a new home computer which is not really important right now we have two laptops and the home computer whilst its not perfect it works. We are not really having bad money problems they have sold a car that they owned in our home county so they have more that £5000 pounds to get by. This has been the worst year of my life and I was hoping to go away to regain my sanity but I couldn't possibly go now.

I imagined my first year of uni would be a great fresh new start but since I stayed home for uni it hasn't panned out the way I thought it would. 
I can't go out much and didn't go to my freshers's week cuz my parents didn't want me to.  When go out and come back at around 8 my dad freaks out. I am glad my father is better but he holds me back from doing what I want. I wish I had gone to another city for uni for more freedom howevre if I had I wouldn't have been here to help look after my dad when he fell ill.

I try to remind myself that there are people who have it worse than me but it doesn't make the frustration and pain go away. Hopefully when my second year of uni everything will be better.
leanne99 leanne99
Apr 18, 2012