Depression And Anger

Well I guess it starts with my mom.. My mom is mentally disabled and everyone tells me that I should show her more affection... But if they knew what I have been through growing up they would understand why I act the way I do. Growing up I was raised by my grandparents from birth to age 8, that age is when I moved in with my mom, she is disabled mentally but she can do a lot of stuff ... She would buy me stuff from time to time... But it's the fact that she always yelled at me for the simplest of things like asking for money or talking to her when she was doing something... Idk why but she gets aggravated really easily... But my depression didn't really start until my mom met her bf she bought him a lot of stuff she bout him dj'ing equipment a car, she got her credit messed up because of him. It was like she was totally engulfed by him she spent all her time at his house and I felt she loved him more than me... So I hated him... But not at first, he made me laugh and when I thought of him I thought he's a nice guy... But he started to act an *** like making me eat things I didnt want to, my mom made me spend the night at his house while she had sex in his room... One day I remember clear as day we all went to the movie store and he picked a ***** .... We all Watched it and then he said I'm gonna do that to u. But it wasnt intercourse it was Just licking of the nipples... I was 10 years old. He told my mom to join and she did... At the time I didn't know it was wrong but growing up it started to hit me my mom was there and she didn't protect me. I think that's where my external rudeness to her became.
Justagirl12356 Justagirl12356
18-21, F
2 Responses May 14, 2012

Honey you just need to look after you. Your mom obviously has issues but you must know that you do not have to put up with them. Anything that happened to you was NOT your fault. Adults are meant to protect young people and the ones that you were with did not do their job. It is no one else's business as to how affectionate or not you are towards anyone. I am so sorry that you were let down by these people. Try and surround yourself with nice friends both your age and adult that you can trust. Talk to a doctor or counsellor if you need to or a trusted friend, but always remember that you cannot control other peoples behaviour especially when you are a child. Take care and best wishes.

Dear, are you still living at your mom's? I think the best you can do is move out. Don't let other people make you feel quilty about your ager at your mom. She was not there to protect you when she should have. I think it possible she just lacked the capacity of understanding and of mastering the situation, maybe because she's disabled. Yet, to you the effect was the same.<br />
Btw., is she still living with that boyfriend?