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Somebody Talk to Me Please

I feel so depressed all the time no matter what happens I always end up feeling worthless and like nothing will ever change like im the cause of everyones problems. No matter what I can never help anybody and people just dont know or understand how I feel. My parents are total psychos and I hate them sometimes but I do love them. I just wish somebody would understand me, not try to tell me what to do, but just talk about it with me, just try to comfort me or something. I dont want pity I just want some recognition and a bit of respect. I'm sick of feeling like I have to cut myself and being in a long distance relationship with a girl i've never met but whom I truly love is sp painful its just hard to bear.I hate myself...

Sickinside Sickinside 16-17, M 30 Responses Jun 11, 2008

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As would Spongebob say, Buy an Abrasive side.Call everybody ***** and ******** and you will feel better.(works fine :D) And blame the others for your mistakes.

* I mean call them S!uts and ASCHoles

Don't let things get to you, I just got out of a Phsyciatric Hospital for cutters last week, don't do something that can hurt the future because the past is already done. Shoot for the stars, and even if you miss, you land upon the moon

Respect. A powerful word. Given in birth. Lost in life. But earned by self.

Body i am here for you if you need to talk some to some one

I know how it feels. Hang in there and get professional help. It took me 21 months of treatment.

babe, Ive been depressed for over 10 years, the isolation, the "downstairs at 3am", the loss of ......memory...(sorry I forgot)...its the 1 thing I can honestly say I know about. Hang on in there, but get help as well from your GP AND MIND or such other groups. look up Depression Alliance website, and remember, you're NOT alone.<br />
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xxxxx Lisa

I know it's been a while since you posted... but here's a try anyway. :)<br />
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If you still think you're bipolar I hope you are studying way to help cope. It must be very hard(I'm not biploar but had a boyfriend who was). I know it's ahrd to see what's going on bipolar-wise from the inside. I read a fantastic book a while back cover to cover and one thing the author suggests is staying away from sugar and alchohol. Those things will exacerbate the condition. Best of luck! I hope you found the understanding you're seeking.

Hi. erm..this is werid ive never done this before but it was two years ago since you felt this way and i was wondering how you are now? I feel exactly the same way and i wanted to know if anything had changed? maybe if we could talk about it...dont worry if you find this strange just ignore me...im used to it...

I hate it when people tell me they understand because I always feel that no one ever does! But I feel you.<br />
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- I feel depressed all the time and I feel worthless too. I'm currently seeing both a psychiatrist and psychologist but I will like nothing will ever change. And I too, blame myself for everything and I'm the cause for all the bad things that happened in my relationship.<br />
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- I hate my parents at times too but I do love them too. My mum can be really insensitive sometimes.<br />
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- Sometimes I keep to myself not because I have no one to talk to but because I feel like no one can ever understand me and know what I'm going through. I'm screaming inside for some comfort that no one can give. And I understand what you need now is comfort.<br />
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- I find that cutting is an addiction and it's really hard to stop. I'm trying to stop that too and in fact, I have to because I have way too many scars to hide! You must know that cutting is only a temporary relieve. I'm not trying to tell you what to do and I'm not trying to stop you. Just know that it's only temporary.. What we need most now is something stable that we can hold on to.<br />
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- My boyfriend/ soulmate/ best friend left the country and he is the only person I want to talk to but I can't because I can't even call him. He's in the middle of the ocean! (He's a seaman) So I understand how you feel..<br />
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- I hate myself too <br />
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I just want you to know that there are people who understand and going through similar things that you can relate to. :) I don't know you but I'm going to be here for you, supporting you, praying for you.

hi I know how you feel to some point. im 41 and have had depression for most of my life and still deal with it. i know you said you wanted someone to comfort you. i dont think i can comfort you as i dont really know you. one thing that has brought me thru many hard times is the bible if tou read thru the psalms they have alot of comforting thoughts in them tey usually start out with feelings of depression fear etc but bring the comfort and joy of the Lord into them in the end. also the book of 1st corinthians is comforting. if you pray forGod to help you and reveal himself to you in his word you will be suprized how much it can help. God loves you and wants to comfort you as a matter of fact the holy spirit is called the comforter. if you dont have a bible you can go to bible.com i know you might be skeptical but please give it a chane it could just change your life, also read the gospel of john it will explain who jesus is

In your search for inner happiness the path is complicated by so many diversions for help that it is often difficult to see which of the diversionary pathways to take. Inner happiness can be achieved by stopping searching from outside. There is a wonderful mythical tale about the meeting of the gods who were debating where to hide from man the secret of life. One god said put on Everest another said at the bottom of the pacific, but all agreed that man would find it in those locations. Then a lesser god piped up and said put it within man himself for he will never find it there and they all agreed that was the best place to put it. So how do we find this inner state of mind. For the last 20 years I have been helping thousands to find it if you feel that I might just be able to help you then send me an email to poerrelease@gmail.com and discuss it a more private way

I was reading your story. That was a while back, but I was curious to see how you are doing these days? I hope that you have grown stronger since then and have found new ways to cope through life's situations. I'm 50+ too and had a past of struggle. We all have a story to tell. As I got older, I found ways to simplify my life. Sometimes less is more. :)

Hello nuttyrocker: <br />
<br />
Oh......... I sure know about the ups and downs in life, those that only try to cheer up others must be because they don't have a clue on what to say. Cheering up does not help much instead it depresses even more because people think they might be worthless and begin feeling sorry for themselves. There is so much two or more people can talk about without trying to be nice but being polite, at times it is good to give others a good harsh shake to wake them up. This is according to you "I was depressed and i wanted to give up cause I have a lot of problems that make me feel powerless" do you by chance believe I don't know that? Yes I know it all too well but I don't allow depression to sink in though at times being powerless can take over because I am fighting against a two headed monster that has a mind of its own. You are lucky to have a family I don't have anyone in the whole world, things don't change because someone says "don't worry" but please believe me I do totally agree with you in this sentence "but you have to look forward to the future and find some one who loves you for you" very true and realistic when you are young but not at my age I am 50+ never the less and regardless of my age I keep on fighting with nails and teeth to buy some further life time. <br />
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Take care and regards.

In life you get alot of ups and downs and you get people trying alsorts to cheer you up but you have to feel at peace with yourself and focus on what means alot to you,i was depressed and i wanted to give up cause i have alot of problems that make me feel power less and like i cant win then these days i see family and i feel better,everyone can say dont worry and thigs will change but you have to look forward to the future and find some one who loves you for you,hang on in there,and try not to give up it would be a waste.

I have read all your posts this is a very important one:<br />
<br />
" I have tried talking to them, loads of times but they never listen, just tell me to stop being so stupid and grow up and everything. Its dumb really, because they blatantly disregard how I feel every day but the SECOND my little brother has a thing wrong with him they're rushing to his side. I have tried talking to them, I really have, but they just don't listen, or care really, they'll never change. It's not fair that I have to wake up hearing them screaming and breaking stuff up either. I'm just getting sick and tired of it and they're even damaging my relationship with my girlfriend, she's one of the only people I feel that I can talk to and I get upset so much that she feels that I'm angry with her, I can't even think straight when I'm that upset so I end up upsetting both of us and hurting her. It's just not fair and there's nothing I can do. Not to mention I think I might be bipolar but I don't really care, when I told them they just laughed and told me to go away (to put it nicely)"<br />
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Your basic problem is with your family and you know it. You may feel rejected because of all the attention your little brother gets, but think he must be very young and your parents may think he needs much attention. It is not easy to live in a household were we are look over the shoulder and practically ignored, but you can do very much about it. Your second basic problem is called depression, it makes you feel terrible, guilty and puts you down no nowhere.The other important issue is that you think you may be bipolar and you say you don't care. <br />
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You can not change your parents, they are who they are and you just have to live with it, if you have family members who can take you in then make a run for it, not only for yourself but perhaps your parents will rethink how they have treated you and change at least a bit to begin with. When we are born we are given several life choices except two, our health and the family we have. If you believe you are bipolar, I don't think you are, Bipolars hardly ever recognize they have the disorder but could have some underlying issue it could be what is gently called "emotional unhappiness". <br />
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Suppose you are bipolar, being bipolar is not easy and it can make your life a living hell. Why not go to a therapist or better still to a psychiatrist and have a diagnosis? Once you know exactly what you have you can take a treatment that will be good for you and you will get the right medicines for your issues, being wrongly diagnosed is bad and the meds you get can be the wrong ones and those are not helping at all. Depression in part of very many disorders around 110 of them, so it is difficult to link depression to Bipolar or Emotional Unhappiness among others , depression is present in both disorders apart from the very many others.<br />
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If you want to make a life of your own and change your attitude, help yourself and get help perhaps it is PTSD, OCD, BPD or as said many of the other disorders. Perhaps it is something as simple as "anger" or "repressed anger" with a short treatment you can get rid of it and have a good, pleasant life and start rebuilding yourself and your future. <br />
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Don't sink with a ship that is not sinking, don't live among ruins when you can live in a castle and don't be unhappy if you can be very happy. Please think it over, I can not say much more it depends on you and only you. I don't pity you and I am not trying to brain wash you, I don't have the time for any of them because I am a dying woman who is fighting her last battle to live a bit longer, cancer is robbing me from all I have left the right to live and breath. It already took part of my body I sometimes wonder if cancer has a mind of it's own. <br />
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God bless and take care. <br />
<br />
sicklady

well my friend i can tell you this much. suicide is not the answer i speak from experience here i've tried it and i can tell you this....those people you say you love your parents and the person you are having a long distance relationship with you have no idea how much that will hurt them!!!!! i almost lost my best friend after my attempt he was so angry at me because i had not come and talked to him about my feelings. i fully understand your lack of a sense of self worth i have the same problem and i've felt this way for most of my life (i'm 42) but through talking to people on here and therapy i am slowly starting to realize i AM a good person and a valuable person there ARE people who would miss me if i was gone!!!! you know something? the same is true of you!!! someone who knows you would be devastated by your death. many times the people left behind fall into a depression and kill themselves as well because they don't feel they did well as a parent/friend. cutting i have never done personally but my last girlfriend used to do that and she ended up trying to kill herself so it is not an answer either. tell your parents get help and take care of yourself my friend.

A sister sounds like a good idea....you could print out some of this and show her, or re-write it maybe, and explain to her why its difficult to talk to your parents.The first move is always the hardest, but you need to get out of this. Your girlfriend maybe upset but she would still want to know..thats what friends are for.

I dont know, I guess I could stay with one of my sisters. I just dont want to start anything, because I dont know what he would do.<br />
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If I actually do something like that, I'd have to explain everything to someone, and I'm no good at speaking my feelings out loud, I'm just useless at it, and they'd obviously make me talk to my parents which I'M scared Sh*tless of!<br />
I'm just running out of options and I'm even beginning to be scared of talking to my girlfriend about my feelings because I dont want her to be upset

You know what, he would give a ****.....he's scared sh*tless, that's why he hit you. Its his coping mechanism.....its WRONG but it's his way. Have you any relatives you trust you could go and stay with for a bit, or friends, you need to get away from this abuse.Maybe confide in a school nurse, you shouldn't have to put up with this

I dont know exactly how this site works so sorry about the blocking thing<br />
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My Da hit me when he found out I self harmed, He constantly puts me down and shouts at me and makes me feel like crap<br />
I really dont think he;d give a **** if I killed myself

I know......it IS scary going, I have been putting it off for ages because I've been depressed about a lot of stuff going on in my life and I thought either pills or counselling might help.Anyway I went because I couldn't stand it any more and she was really nice and listened.I've got a pile of books to read for starters..<br />
Your friends MIGHT go with you if you asked them...you don't know till you try, but I guess you might feel awkward about asking them.If not it might be still worth trying to face your fears and go alone, things are never as bad when you face them.<br />
There's quite a few people on EP who are bipolar who might be good to talk to. I don't know if you can access our profiles though as we are blocked from yours because of your age!...Look in my circle if you can..there's reformedautomaton....and armywifeUK battles depression and suicidal thoughts ...she would listen I'm sure!<br />
I really hope you don't end it all cos you will miss out on so much....(yeah life dishes out some crap at times but there is good stuff too if you want it)..as well as hurting those who love you (even though they have a hard time showing it...they do)

Im in Eire. I have e-mailed Samaritans before but after a while things just didn't change. I was going to e-mail them again.<br />
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Im just so scared of going to the GP, and im in my last year of school next year, I just really dont want to go alone but I dont think any of my friends would go with me. Sometimes I feel like im just stuck feeling this way and just want to end it all...

Are you in Eire or N.Ireland? I'm not sure about costs but in the North you should have NHS and wouldnt have to pay for pills if you are still at school or in education, I'd have thought....that's what it is here anyway. And a couple of years ago my friend's daughter was thought to be bipolar but my friend couldn't get any info from the GP about her because of the confidentiality thing......I dunno....it would be good to get some sound advice from somewhere, its definitely not good to feel like that all the time.I've never tried them but the Samaritans are supposed to be really good (Iknow it sounds a bit cheesy)...cos they are trained up to be able to know how to listen.....You can phone 08457 90 90 90 if you are in the UK and 1850 60 90 90 if you are in the Republic of Ireland.....I've just looked them up, there's an email addy there too and it's confidential to under 18s<br />
http://www.samaritans.org/talk_to_someone/email.aspx

I have explained it to her<br />
She has similar problems to me but probably worse, its hard for me to help her<br />
<br />
Nobody is really fair to me, to be honest <br />
I figured out that I might be bipolar ages ago but I dont know, Im scared to go to the GP because I heard that if I say Ive been thinking suicidal thoughts they'll tell my parents<br />
plus I cant pay for anything, like if I need pills or something

They are not being fair on you are they.....is there ANYone else you can talk to about this? I understand about not being able to think straight when you are upset and it IS so easy to take it on on those we love. Can you explain this to your girlfriend at a time when you aren't feeling so bad, tell her you are sorry you hurt her (women love it when a man says sorry!lol)<br />
If you are concerned you might be bipolar, you could get it checked out by your GP...tell them about your depression too, don't be ashamed and it's confidential, so you won't even have to tell your parents if you don't want to.

Thanks for your advice<br />
I have tried talking to them, loads of times but they never listen, just tell me to stop being so stupid and grow up and everything. Its dumb really, because they blatantly disregard how I feel every day but the SECOND my little brother has a thing wrong with him theyre rushing to his side. I have tried talking to them, I really have, but they just don't listen, or care really, they'll never change. It's not fair that I have to wake up hearing them screaming and breaking stuff up either. I'm just getting sick and tired of it and they're even damaging my relationship with my girlfriend, she's one of the only peopel I feel that I can talk to and I get upset so much that she feels that I'm angry with her, I can;t even think straight when I'm that upset so I end up upsetting both of us and hurting her. It's just not fair and there's nothing I can do. Not to mention I think I might be bipolar but I don't really care, when I told them they just laughed and told me to go away (to put it nicely)

PS your parents' problems aren't your fault, they need to deal with that and you are not to blame.

I bet they do care really, but maybe don't know how to broach the subject with you in case they get a bad reaction? In what way are they psychos? Are they wrapped up in their own lives too much to notice what's wrong maybe......Have you tried talking to them? in a calm moment (if that's possible!)Tell them you are feeling bad and could use some support....parents can be pretty dense sometimes..<br />
Being a teenager is a tough time (so is being 50 and having mid-life crisis crap but thats another story!! lol)....it's hard to cope with everything that's expected of you plus all the changes going on in your life.I think it's even harder these days in some ways than when I was that age (I am the mother of teen girls so I know some of the pressures) Hope things get better for you.

Thanks<br />
problem is I dont see anything about me to respect<br />
nobody else respects me. My parents dont care about me or how I feel. I just cant do this any more.

I understand, I think.......I had a plate smashing time a couple of days back to stop myself doing more serious damage to myself or anyone else. Its a horrible feeling and I did find myself eyeing up the bread knive and the temptation was there but I wouldn't let myself give in to that urge.I understand the frustration with a long distance relationship too.Don't hate yourself ......you deserve respect! You could even start by respecting yourself....