All In Cold Blood

"Break that glass and I will break your neck", "when you were born I never thought you would be this much of a disappointment" "why can't you be more like your sister, she never had these problems in high school" "people are going to start calling you emo at school now, how could you be so stupid" - things I'm told every day. Is this supposed to make me better. Or just tear me down. I know I don't have friends and I know alot of people don't like me. And it's probably because I push them away I trust few people. I know I have problems with confidence, and alot of self issues, I know I like attention a little to much and I don't know why. I seek for it in places if people knew what I did I would die. When I cut it is one of the few things I do not do for attention. I don't like it when people see them and I hate the looks and questions. But the attention I would get from a fight I have or a guy I try something with or times when I'm drunk or high and I have exceeding amounts Of confidence and I could do anything out of comfort level, like texting, I'm way more out going then, then in person. I don't know how to deal with the smallest of things and other people think it is easy and think if I didn't want to cut I wouldent but trust menu don't want to but I can't this is my addiction along with attention and thrills of being high and getting drunk. I want to trade places with people who's biggest problem with there lives is they got a C in a class or failed a test. Or you say you hate your family because they wouldent let you take the car one day or turned the light out at 9 while you were doing homework on vacation. If those are your problems please for god sake trade with me.
Mady2160 Mady2160
22-25, F
Dec 4, 2012