Feeling As Though I Don't Belong

Today, I’m just being overwhelmed by this sense that I don’t really belong anywhere…. Maybe it’s true and maybe its not, but I can’t shake it. The monster they call depression is yanking my chain and pulling me back into myself, telling me I should hide from other people. Withdraw and pull away, because wherever I am, whatever sort of relationships I think I’m building, are not real. That I’m deluded and that no one really wants me around.

So I stayed in bed for most of today. Wrestling with the black demon in my head. Trying to force him out, to make him leave. So far, I haven’t been successful. He just laughs and dances just out of reach, whispering cruel secrets and lies in my ears. And I get tired of fighting him. Sleep is comfort, but it ends to soon. Life requires to many things of me to allow me that relief for long. And I’m trapped in this web of responsibility, not sure when I’ll be able to escape, or where I would escape to.

So for now, I’ll go back to bed. Hoping when I wake things will be different, but knowing that they never will be.
22-25, F
1 Response Dec 10, 2012

I have the same problem. if u want some1 to talk to u can talk to me.