Screw Up #1

I haven't always been a screw up i used to do things right. I used to be a big help to people. Everyone always told me i was smart, but i feel like it was all a lie and they were just trying to support me and help me on the right path. Sometimes I also think well maybe I was smart and a big help and people could count on me and somehow maybe I changed from smart to stupid. Sometimes I don't even know how  Iscrew things up. No one tells me I'm smart any more and it's rare someone will actually come to me for help either. I miss who I used to be and I don't know how to go back. It feels like all of a sudden within one year my life flipped and i became somone who's done everything wrong no matter how hard i actucally try to keep it from happening it still happens. I screw up in my job and im always looking for ways to improve and when i find them I try my best to use them and still i mess up at work. I feel so defeated and i don't know what to do about it.I always think well maybe this isn't the right job but then i feel like im saying that to convince myself of quiting and taking an easy way out im so lost and confused. I'm always in a war with my self arguing over right and wrong. At school I used to be almsost a strausght A student. I alwasy knew the answer and people looked at me like i had something worth showing that i was good at something, I had the talent to become something. Now in my schooling i still have most A's but i feel like I don't deserve them i always have the wrong answers in my english class. I'm not sure how i went from being someone to look up to, to being someone people could care less about because they can't do anything right. I don't know what to do and I'm so lost. Im desperate to change and get back to the old me, but no matter how long or much i think about where i went wrong i just can't seem to figure i out.
wish3 wish3
13-15
Dec 15, 2012