What Words Will Comfort Me?

My name is Pavan and I'm 22. I will be finishing college in the next 6 months and I already have a job that some might say is well paying.
All my life I have been brought up to try to be better than everyone else around me. I worked hard in school and I worked hard through college. I feel there is something missing in my life. I have done what I was supposed to do, what about what I want to do?
When I was a kid I wanted to be a programmer, and now that I finally am I don't know what next. I read my old diaries today and it left me feeling miserable. All my friends have moved on and sought their own lives, they all seem so happy posting pics on Facebook and always doing something or the other. Why can't I be happy? The girl who used to hang around with me so much in school now has a ton of other friends in her college, it has been ages since we spoke. Did I do or say something?
I see little green lights next to their names on IM and I think, "hey they must all be chatting, why won't they talk to me?" They all go on doing the things they want with smiles on their faces and here I am, lost, not knowing what I want.
There is a friend of mine who is very creative and does designs. He recently landed a project from a leading firm and it hurts. His confidence shoots mine. I have better grades than him, why am I not happier? Why am I not the one confident?
I have a family that loves me, why can't I be content. I can not speak to my dad and mum about this, I wouldn't know what to say.
What can I do? I don't want money, I don't want to live on a beach. All I want is to be happy. That's all I want :(
pvnk pvnk
18-21, M
Jan 7, 2013