My Story

I'm actually 14.
Here's my story. It all stared about 2 years ago when my father divorced my mother and she got custody of me. She blamed me for ruining her "perfect" life and having my father divorce her. She wanted to get away from everything so she moved us to England. Away from everyone I knew and everyone I cared about. My oldest friend, who I love, turned on me for leaving and hasn't talked to me since.
My mother decided that everything would be okay in England but how wrong she was and is she will never know. She resented, shunned, and ignored me for about half a year of hell between us. We fought nearly every day. I remember after a particularly cruel fight that I ran out of the house and down to the beach. There were shards of glass everywhere and, I'm not sure where I got the idea but, I cut down my arm. It was deep and really hard to hide but I managed (Mostly because it's so cold in the northern part of England that I could wear long sleeves.
At school I was being bullied as I'm not a like able person and I stuck out like a soar thumb in England. People bullied me over how fat and stereotypic of an American person. This lead to some more cuts and before I knew it my arm was covered in scars and getting really hard to hide.
My girlfriends name was Rebekah. She meant everything to me. We lived near eachother and walked home together. One day when I had ditched school because of bullying, she walked home by herself and was kidnapped and raped. They found her body 3 days later in a field. They've never found the rapist. it was my fault. I could've been there and saved her. Or at least joined her.
After that things got bad and I tried to kill myself. I blamed myself for his death, I could've been there to save him. I had slit my wrists and taken the pills I'd had stored up. I blacked out and when I woke up I was strapped to a hospital bed alone in a hospital room.
I was put on SO and watched for a week in the hospital. When I was released my mother sent us back to America. Things weren't the same though. One of my friends noticed my arms and spread the word. I was known as The Emo Kid and Dumbass by my friends. Things were horrible. I didn't know what to do. I dont have anyone to talk to. Like I had with Rebekah. I don't know where I should turn. The cuttings getting worse. The last one was so deep it took ten seconds for the blood to reach the surface. I'm not sure what to do.
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Jan 10, 2013