The Silence Will Set Her Free.

During the September of 2012, my best friend left me.

I was at one of the lowest points I had ever been at, and she just got up and left. The reasoning she gave me was that I was too much for her to handle when she herself was depressed.

But ever since then, surprisingly, I have been clean [no cutting, drinking, etc.]

Even so, she took all of my other friends with her. So now I have no one.

Naturally, there are those who are cordial with me and believe me to be their friend. But in reality, they don't know anything about me. And I never tell anyone how I'm feeling anymore. I don't want to be a burden. And also, I'm scared that they'll leave, too.

Because, you see, she didn't just leave. She started to hate me. She developed a grudge against me.

And that kills me, because even now, I only want the best for her.

But inside I'm dying, and no one knows. I'm not suicidal, but I'm suffering through my life and I just practice smiling in the mirror so no one will ever know.
And no one knows. And no one asks.

People will tell me their own problems and I'll help, but nobody asks how I'm doing. There's no one for me to vent to; no shoulder for me to cry on.

And at this point, I just feel used.

And at this point, it's gotten so bad that I've resorted to posting about it on a website- something I promised myself I wouldn't do.

But here I am.

And I don't think anyone will read this or take it into account because it's so cliche, but I thought maybe someone could read it and I'd know that someone has heard something from inside my heart.

Even as a write this, I'm not saying much. I don't know how to anymore.
AndyUnartisic AndyUnartisic
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 14, 2013

Hey, I feel like we have a lot in common. I have borderline personality disorder and with my changing moods all the time people get tired of me. One day we could be laughing and the next I would hate him. It's something that I've been dealing with for 3 years. It sucks because I'm scared to open up. I too just started posting things on the internet because I feel no one here can relate to me. But things will get better. You will find a friend. and you will be happy.