My Life Has Turned From Bad To Worse.

So this is 2 months of my life... the worst two months ive ever experienced;
I dont really know what group to post my life story to so i picked a random...

basically i moved from New Zealand to Australia for the chance of a better life....WRONG.

Since ive been here i havent made one friend because the girls are so pretty and so thin and tan and im just...chubby, and pale white. So i dont fit in with their cliques. Ive tried and tried to find a job but ive hit a dead end. Yeah ive been enrolled into tourism courses at TAFE but i have a social anxiety disorder so its not like i can freaking go to class! i also have a long distance relationship falling to bits, because im too ****** up to stay in the relationship in the first place. Life here at my Auntys house is absolute freaking hell. My aunty i love but her partner is so mental. One of the reasons i freaking moved to Australia was to escape my step mother because we never got on and now i have a ****** up relationship with my aunts partner. I just feel so alone, i mean im literally crying right now because i just got into a massive rowl. I have nowhere to go. I have nothing to do. I dont have enough money to run away. Im literally ******. To top things off ive noticed that im not eating. im popping diet pills 6 times a day as well as only having slim shakes twice a day. Yeah im blabbing on but like..idk my lifes ******. Im just getting ideas in my head and im basically not thinking right. I just wish i had someone to talk to about my issues, because my life is crumbling, and i feel like im going insane. I just wish i wasnt here. Wish i could just disappear off the face of the earth. Nobody cares. Nobody. Wish someone actually gave a **** about me.
Frankieexo Frankieexo
18-21, F
4 Responses Jan 16, 2013

Thank you for sharing your feelings. They are so honest. When you feel sad, post on EP and answer a lot of questions. It will make feel better to answer questions because it will keep your mind off things. Well, I gotta go, my son just grabbed my senna tea--for pooping--and now he is running away with it and drinking it!!!

Thank you <3

@Mindywrong @Soruh; thank you for your responses :) Im actually beginning to feel better about myself. I went to my TAFE open day and made friends so i finally feel that i belong here :) I get along with my Aunt and her partner better because i sat them down and talked about my cutting and my problems. Its as if i woke up one morning and suddenly there was a spark and ive just idk...become happy :) Im happy with my weight, im eating well, sleeping well and generally feel cheerful and back to my old self. xx

I can see you undergo lots of issue. But please keep in mind that no one can help you if you don't help yourself first. I was in that situation before, I felt despair and wanted to end my life bcz living just like a disaster to me, I cant feel happiness, no idea why I am in this world, empty mind, like a walking death.
Before end up my life, I decide to see a doctor final time. The doctor is major in Healing Depression, after taking the pills, I get better and gain more hope for future.
So if you experienced the sadness more than two weeks, please see doctor and take pills, then you will know life is not terrible like you thinks just because of chemical unbalanced in your brain, that lead you to those passive thoughts. Hope you get healed soon!

once you stop and clear your mind you can then gather your thoughts one at a time slowly. Write down a plan of action or a list of things to achieve that you want to achieve keep the list short, one or a few sentences long. Alot of the time we just need to slow down and not think about so much at once. Prioritise things. Is this it that really something you need to be worrying about right now? only you can decide whether you need to. Then focus on one part of the list first then then next replacing each one as you accomplish it. if things don't go well on one part of the list you can say right ok that's not working right now I'll come back to that and focus on something else. Meditation will help you. Hope it helps