I am despised, ignored, corrected, abandoned, failed, and wrong. I have made more mistakes in my life than I would like to admit, and I am "still young." I fail or do not try anything that I need to do. I am ignored and discarded because I am boring. I am yelled at for my lack of motivation. I lie to cover up my guilt and sorrow. I do not let anyone help because I know that they don't really want to. All I do is make other people look good in comparison. My parent's time, energy, money and resources are wasted on me. I am lazy and unwilling to try to do anything to change because I have failed at it in the past. I can't even confront myself about my life without using a knife. So I spend my entire day distracting myself from my failures of the day. My pathetic life is no one's fault but my own. I can't do anything right. I lost my soul 2 years ago, on something other people aren't even phased by. Other people could have shrugged off the failure that drove me into depression. Every other depressed person at least has a good reason for it, like a death or traumatic event or childhood (not that any of that is good). I am too much of a coward to commit suicide, but only my parents would notice my absence. No one else cares about how I feel since I literally have no friends. I can't even help others who feel worse than me since I probably won't understand what they are going through and I may even make things worse. I am a sorry excuse for a person and should never have existed at all.
deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses Aug 20, 2014

Been there too..u must start liking yourself, accept yourself, see good things in everything u do, dont look for your mistakes look what is good on you...appreciate small things, accept what you did in the past and dont do it again,motivate urself , if you are always expecting someone to motivate you always be disappointed and it will worsen your depression, you must love yourself first before others do,see the good things that is in you can do or within you..If your always thinking im this im that im not good, im bad blah blah you will became really like that...and you also need friends...if you are surrounded by hard people u can pray for them...and also pray for your healing, Pray always to God Jesus it works! Say I like me! I like myself!

Sweetie, please don't be so hard on yourself. Nobody achieves perfectionism the first time they try something. At most even I find myself having to do something over a d over again to learn something. Do you have parents who are Critical of you? Sweetie you are young vibrant and have so much to give. Take it easy on yourself please