I've been fighting depression for a really long time. I started keeping a journal of my deepest darkest feelings I keep everything that im just to afraid to tell anybody in there. Today me and my bf got into a fight and he calls me crazy and throws my journal in my face. It really hurt me physically and emotionally. He knows what I write in there and by him doing that I just feel like he didn't give a **** about what im going through or any of my feelings. He always goes to my doctors app. and he feels that's the only support he needs to give me. He doesn't understand this feeling nor anyone around me. I'm just looking for a friend.
xjen92 xjen92
22-25, F
2 Responses Aug 23, 2014

I maybe a little young for a friend your looking for but a friend non the less.

Thank you :] im a good listener and im here to talk if you need it too

And I you

:( Depression sucks. That is why you go to see your doctor to try to make things better. Eventually they will find what works for you. I am still trying to find what works for me besides what I do now. If you ever would like a friend, I would be more than happy to be one.

thank you a friend is exactly what im looking for. ive been to the doctors they gave me some antidepression pills they give me a little more energy but they don't take the sad feelings away. what are you doing to get through your depression?

Depression pills take more than a month to have any effect. Mine gave me Zoloft and so far I don't feel any less depressed. My depression is triggered by losing the love of my life and usually I have been able to deal with my depression but not this time. I had to seek a professional or I was going to give up. What makes me feel better may not work for you but I hope it does. I searched for many things I was feeling on EP and clicked metoo on each one. Then I started to see stories by others that feel like I do. They understand what I am going through. I then read other stories and comment and actually make friends along the way. I start to feel good that I helped someone else and that takes a bit of the edge off of my black cloud that is over my head. Helping others is what helps me. Having a friend message me just to say how are you doing today...helps me. Messaging a friend that just lost her loved one...and saying she is not alone....helps me. Just some thoughts. I do hope they help you.

im sorry for you loss. trying these support sites does make me feel less alone I already feel like im making new friends that will listen without judging me. I went in to a panic when I first got my pills (Prozac) they didn't kick in fast enough for me so I started taking more than what the doctor said and I blew up like a puffer fish lmao I had to take some benydril for the swelling lol did that happen to you

No. I was a complete mess. I was only getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night for 3 weeks. I would get 4 if on Ambien or Desyrel. So for 4 weeks I got horrible sleep which just made everything worse. Sleep deprivation messes up everything and makes everything worse. While I got 5 hours the last two days I still think of the thought of why continue. I know that I have two kids in college that need me and people at work that depend on me but still.....the hurt inside is so great.
lol back to your question as I rambled on....
No I did not have a reaction like that at all but I really do wish my doctor perscribed something for Anxiety as that is what is hitting me so hard ever day right now making me feel like I can't breathe and this pressure on my chest like someone is sitting on it but so far he is not willing. I think he is afraid I will misuse it.

That's sorta the spirit.

I had anxiety and depression too anxiety sucks I used to have it at work and I would start tearing up and everyone would just look at me :/ it was a horrible feeling. You should ask you doctor about Prozac or fluoxetine my doctor had the same concern for me she said anti depressants can be really addicting she assured me that Prozac was one of the less addicting ones. it took about 2 and a half weeks for mine to kick in and as for anxiety I say it helped me about 80% everytime I feel an anxiety coming on I can feel the meds kick in and give me a calmer feeling it gives me a boost of energy you feel amazing in the mornings
AS for suicidal thoughts ive been there too. I just had a son who is about to turn 2 and I want to see him grow I want to see him go to school for the first time I cant leave him. all we can do is stay strong and find as much support as we can. do you talk to your kids often?

I am a single father and have raised them their entire life. My daughter is 19 and my son is 21. I have been single for 12 of the last 17 years. I do know how difficult it is to take care of children haha. My children go to college but still live with me for free since I feel education is most important and the less they have to work the more time they can concentrate on school.

That's great that your children are starting the next chapter of their lives. I was always a little too afraid of going to college myself. Raising kids can be difficult but worth it when you see them grow more and more every day. My son is 2 and he's already starting to develop a crazy (in a good way) personality haha it must be hard being alone for so long. Do you choose to be that way?

5 More Responses