I've been depressed since I was a baby (seriously). Adding to that, I was constantly mocked, bullied and ridiculed. I have some learning disabilities so I was constantly reminded that I was worthless and unfortunately this is what I believe. Yes I am married and have 2 kids but one of my kids is autistic and I feel guilty for passing down a bad gene that I am sure is the reason for his autism. I have been to one therapist after another and they are all the same. I have tried different drugs, nothing has worked. I've been trying to look at the spiritual side of life but.. still depressed. I have also tried finding joy in the small things and appreciating what I have. But yet I am still suffering in my own skin. I just believe the world is better off without me, and the only reason I am sticking around is because of my family. I hate who I am and I just doubt I'll ever find any happiness. I don't know anymore.