Yeah, It's Happened Again.

 I sit and look around my room. There is a tall bookshelf filled with the books I love to read, a collage of colorful pictures past and present, nice electronics, lots of stuffed animals, and a mirror on my desk that lights up and magnifies. A typical girl room; that's what it is. Unfortunately, I am a typical girl. Except in my South Texas neighborhood, there are two things that make me stand out: I am tall and I am considered weird.

Now, this never bothered me much before, I mean, hey, who cares what people think right? That's until my best friend switched schools in middle school. I was literally left with no one I could call a true friend. This person was my companion throughout elementary and middle school, so when she left, I was devastated and alone.

 Eventually, I started to stop talking. It didn't help when I ended up getting a crush on a now gay guy who I could never figure out why wouldn't talk to me. Alone alonealonealone. Soon I started hanging out with the "weirdos". I started wearing black all the time. Started starving myself to make that guy notice me. Started staying in my room all the time. Started to turn pale and get dark circles under my eyes. Started to get headaches from not eating. And started to not care anymore.

There was a point in my mind when I was so sure that I would kill myself that I was disappointed on knowing that I'd miss a cruise my family was going on. I would feel like nothing. To be honest, that was a horrifying experience.  But I know now that I would have missed out on a lot of things if I would have done the deed.

 

At this point in my life, three years later, I am perfectly happy. Or at least, I am sometimes.

(my computer is acting up: I will finish aother time)

ChromaticGirl ChromaticGirl
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 10, 2010

I want to hold your hand